OA: Facing Our Defects for What They Are.
"The real fault is to have faults and not to amend them." -Confucius
Anger, resentment, jealousy, envy, as Bill W. states in the Big Book, "are dubious luxuries of normal men." For me, a compulsive overeater, they are poison. With defects unattended, the insanity of compulsive overeating returns and that is death, spiritually and emotionally if not physically. Have I been careless with my program? Do I get into ego-driven arguments? Do I sulk in silent scorn? Am I quick to criticize with a biting tongue? These are dangerous traps. They can destroy my ability to think or act with purpose.
I know that change is possible, that I do not have to live with these crippling defects. I have steps to follow, and they lead to freedom.
For Today: I am ready to change -- to be rid of the faults that are hampering my recovery.
............ARRRRRRRGH.
Why do these readings always have to sound like they are talking DIRECTLY TO ME?
I have been actively working on my 6th step. I have my list, and now its a matter of going over them and being willing to let them go. I'm... having a hard time with this, I can't lie. There's alot of crappy things that I do that are so very much apart of my personality I can't even begin to understand how the heck I would be able to give these hurtful things over like I do my food addiction. Probably should call my sponsor and see what he says. Also gonna see about going to a new, Thursday night OA discussion that goes over each and every step in the Twelve Steps and Traditions book, paragraph by paragraph. I think that would be really eye opening for me, and I hope my OA buddy will be feeling up to carpooling with me!
So It's almost 1 am, gotta wake up at 5:30 AM to make my guy his breakfast (so domestic, eh?), then get my exercise in and figure out what the hell I want to do with my time. Had a facinating conversation with this guy I'm sleeping with (don't be jealous Robert), and he suggested that perhaps I should look into volunteering at something I would be interested in, or start gearing up and going to school again. The pressure about finding work is relieved, and particularly with the looming car issues, I couldn't be more happy. We can build up our resources, I can build up my resume with something a little more recent than 2009. I can find something awesome to volunteer at, like at a woman's shelter, or maybe some sort of activism. Hell, maybe a job will even present itself, and that would be AWESOME.
I have been working out, day by day, and watching what I have been eating and when I am eating it. I'm meditating, praying, looking for things that can fill my time and make me happy. HOW COOL IS THAT???
Anger, resentment, jealousy, envy, as Bill W. states in the Big Book, "are dubious luxuries of normal men." For me, a compulsive overeater, they are poison. With defects unattended, the insanity of compulsive overeating returns and that is death, spiritually and emotionally if not physically. Have I been careless with my program? Do I get into ego-driven arguments? Do I sulk in silent scorn? Am I quick to criticize with a biting tongue? These are dangerous traps. They can destroy my ability to think or act with purpose.
I know that change is possible, that I do not have to live with these crippling defects. I have steps to follow, and they lead to freedom.
For Today: I am ready to change -- to be rid of the faults that are hampering my recovery.
............ARRRRRRRGH.
Why do these readings always have to sound like they are talking DIRECTLY TO ME?
I have been actively working on my 6th step. I have my list, and now its a matter of going over them and being willing to let them go. I'm... having a hard time with this, I can't lie. There's alot of crappy things that I do that are so very much apart of my personality I can't even begin to understand how the heck I would be able to give these hurtful things over like I do my food addiction. Probably should call my sponsor and see what he says. Also gonna see about going to a new, Thursday night OA discussion that goes over each and every step in the Twelve Steps and Traditions book, paragraph by paragraph. I think that would be really eye opening for me, and I hope my OA buddy will be feeling up to carpooling with me!
So It's almost 1 am, gotta wake up at 5:30 AM to make my guy his breakfast (so domestic, eh?), then get my exercise in and figure out what the hell I want to do with my time. Had a facinating conversation with this guy I'm sleeping with (don't be jealous Robert), and he suggested that perhaps I should look into volunteering at something I would be interested in, or start gearing up and going to school again. The pressure about finding work is relieved, and particularly with the looming car issues, I couldn't be more happy. We can build up our resources, I can build up my resume with something a little more recent than 2009. I can find something awesome to volunteer at, like at a woman's shelter, or maybe some sort of activism. Hell, maybe a job will even present itself, and that would be AWESOME.
I have been working out, day by day, and watching what I have been eating and when I am eating it. I'm meditating, praying, looking for things that can fill my time and make me happy. HOW COOL IS THAT???