The usual...
And the confusion and paranoia and CONFUSION seems to continue on. I'm not certain of anything (that means anything) for more than a couple of hours. I fluctuate between hate, love, physical attraction, disgust, and some other emotions with the majority of the girls who matter to me. There is a pattern, however. Skogs is exempt from this, however. BECAUSE she is UNAVAILABLE, I do not find her EVER crossing my mind as far as all the dumb shit goes...Instead, she has to hear about it all, HAHA. But, yeah, the point is that my confusion, which INDIRECTLY leads to the pessimism of situations (paranoia) is starting to really fuck with my shit.
Perfect example: I would much rather leave the concrete (for a few hours) details out of the story. I was/am/will be again upset about situations in my life and was with Greg at the dining hall. We sat down and I poured my guts out to him. All of my thoughts from that evening that were bugging me (and have bugged me in the past and will bug me in the future) had all been spilled out to him, after about 10 shots. Not only THAT, I was sitting at the table (embarassing?) doing what I do about once a year due to drinking...I wept. I wept for about 25-30 minutes because after a year of things (from this particular situation of sorts) building up, I had to let loose. Sad? Most definitely. Treatable? ...Yes, but I, as usual, am innocent of the cure / am ignorant as to how to obtain this (potential) cure in question...
On a final note:
My life = Perfect...
My perception of this life = I have issues with it.
My emotions on this life = Very negative.
The question is 'why?'
Perfect example: I would much rather leave the concrete (for a few hours) details out of the story. I was/am/will be again upset about situations in my life and was with Greg at the dining hall. We sat down and I poured my guts out to him. All of my thoughts from that evening that were bugging me (and have bugged me in the past and will bug me in the future) had all been spilled out to him, after about 10 shots. Not only THAT, I was sitting at the table (embarassing?) doing what I do about once a year due to drinking...I wept. I wept for about 25-30 minutes because after a year of things (from this particular situation of sorts) building up, I had to let loose. Sad? Most definitely. Treatable? ...Yes, but I, as usual, am innocent of the cure / am ignorant as to how to obtain this (potential) cure in question...
On a final note:
My life = Perfect...
My perception of this life = I have issues with it.
My emotions on this life = Very negative.
The question is 'why?'