(no subject)
forcing no words the conclusions keep changing before they matter and that doesnt matter im neutralizing the thoughts that neutral isnt always neutral and is and this seems pretentious and doesnt matter and that matters and the stupidity is always there and isnt stupid and this is the very quick connecting of what im trying to explain that doesnt have to be explained or unexplained or neutralized it is not controlled and that might be the word that summed it up for me but it isnt this will be laughed at and frowned upon if not accepted i accept but if i didnt want to that is not my obvious control i want to say that i cant explain that this is not explaining anything and that doesnt matter and matters that unfinished wont finish and that finishes without being any sense made im forcing typing that my sober wants to remember that im all this nothing something that cancels out and cancels that out and breaks caring and wants to explain and understand how explaining doesnt matter and is fine to do if i want and if i want to do what i want and that would be what i want and is not my control or anythings just everythings and i will stop just this cuz i do remember that i dont need this or want this displayed but not doing that would defy and that is fine but that doesnt matter and will be understood or not and not talked about cuz it would take away from some wants unless thats wanted but logic and wants dont always match up and then this just keeps changing cuz it cant really end but im going to force the ending just like i forced the beginning cuz i dont think it should have been written thats why i had to write it its fucking stupid shit and is dumb that thats dumb i regret regretting that ill regret this im so not trying to be clever and so not caring about that