nothing left.
Sometimes, the ones we love make it hard for us to see them for why we love them. Its never family, but the family you choose that give you that annoyed feeling, as if their every word grates on us. But why? why in times of personal crises can we fail to see the good and let only the bad in? I often find myself searching for something better, unlike my mother and father I'm good at making friends, relations, contacts, a seconds meeting, an hour or two, but holding onto them for any longer than a year always poses the problem. But why?
My mother and I often agree, its the fact we just don't like 'people' its not that we don;t see the good in them or think of ourselves as better than anyone else, its just . . . were happy, content to just be us. give us a book, some music or even just a silent hill top and were happy. And yet regardless of me knowing this fact i still search for that group of invincible people, the 'friends' i've waited on since i was little. And this is where the problem starts, these friends have always been in my mind flawless, maybe this is just me bigging myself up, i have high expectations.
I expect them to be here, to love me, to try as hard as i do, but here's the crux, no one ever does. The more I love them, the more they don't care. So here it is disappointment, again. people letting me down, but then again is it just me? some people have wonderful friendships but then, maybe i'm just not meeting the right people, like women lusting over bad boys, do I just lust over bad friendships?
I'm not gonna start saying I'm perfect, but in the words of the pretty Reckless, "just tonight I won't leave" I've decided to stick it out, another friendship on the rocks, but were trying. This is the thing about uni, the thing I wouldn't have known without it, like in your relationship in marriage our friendships should be the same, I've grown up in the bitching girls school environment where when someone gets hurt everyone goes cold but i've seen the error of those ways now. In order to have a good friendship you have to thrash the details out, if you feel hurt tell them. If their angry get them to say it, no more stewing. and i did it, its never easy to hear when your wrong, but in the end what do we really have to lose?
The choice as it is, is yours another bad friendship? or a constant one with all the ups and downs associated? I'll pick the latter i'm not hiding behind a mask, and maybe you should consider it too?
My mother and I often agree, its the fact we just don't like 'people' its not that we don;t see the good in them or think of ourselves as better than anyone else, its just . . . were happy, content to just be us. give us a book, some music or even just a silent hill top and were happy. And yet regardless of me knowing this fact i still search for that group of invincible people, the 'friends' i've waited on since i was little. And this is where the problem starts, these friends have always been in my mind flawless, maybe this is just me bigging myself up, i have high expectations.
I expect them to be here, to love me, to try as hard as i do, but here's the crux, no one ever does. The more I love them, the more they don't care. So here it is disappointment, again. people letting me down, but then again is it just me? some people have wonderful friendships but then, maybe i'm just not meeting the right people, like women lusting over bad boys, do I just lust over bad friendships?
I'm not gonna start saying I'm perfect, but in the words of the pretty Reckless, "just tonight I won't leave" I've decided to stick it out, another friendship on the rocks, but were trying. This is the thing about uni, the thing I wouldn't have known without it, like in your relationship in marriage our friendships should be the same, I've grown up in the bitching girls school environment where when someone gets hurt everyone goes cold but i've seen the error of those ways now. In order to have a good friendship you have to thrash the details out, if you feel hurt tell them. If their angry get them to say it, no more stewing. and i did it, its never easy to hear when your wrong, but in the end what do we really have to lose?
The choice as it is, is yours another bad friendship? or a constant one with all the ups and downs associated? I'll pick the latter i'm not hiding behind a mask, and maybe you should consider it too?