ah
my first term at COA proved to be way different than i expected, aside from all the AMAZING people i have met in the past few months, i was completely miserable there. i have decided to take a leave of absence, and work in boston for a while. of course job hunting with the economy in the state it is in, fuck! it's going to be interesting.
i have been writing non stop for months, and i am hoping to get to some open mics soon, there's no better feeling than performing, best high in the world.
i've disconnected myself so much from so many people here at home, it's funny how easy it can be to just fall off the radar. i miss everyone, but i'm finally grasping the idea that people grow apart. how painful it is!
i am sad,
i am going to miss my friends at school so much. i always manage to connect with people who are out of reach, why can't people i relate with be tangible? human interaction with genuine people is scarce, it sucks to be losing so much of it at once.
internet "RIP"'s are the absolute worst things i have ever witnessed.. that little three letter grouping makes me so sick, so sad, so angry! i will never be at peace with the thought of anyone dying, or with the idea that death is a part of life.
my theory that i am growing up in reverse, only cements itself deeper with every passing day.. my face is changing and my body is changing and i am a woman now, but my head my god my head..its something else in here
on a higher note, my faith in love has been restored. through the beautiful friendships i have been blessed with, and jason, i know that it was only pain and regrets forcing me to think it was a sham. love is still painful, though.
falling in love with someone, i had forgot how it feels. its the most amazing and peaceful emotion, the most beautiful way to feel, ever. it hurts when it ends, i am sad to have to say goodbye to the amazing relationship i formed with jason, strictly because of distance. i will always love him, but not being able to see one another just isn't fair to either of us. more sadness
even though i am sad about so many things, i am happy at the same time. i am learning so much and i am coming to realize how life should be lived, whats important.. its nice to have logical priorities.
i dont know how to end these things
i have been writing non stop for months, and i am hoping to get to some open mics soon, there's no better feeling than performing, best high in the world.
i've disconnected myself so much from so many people here at home, it's funny how easy it can be to just fall off the radar. i miss everyone, but i'm finally grasping the idea that people grow apart. how painful it is!
i am sad,
i am going to miss my friends at school so much. i always manage to connect with people who are out of reach, why can't people i relate with be tangible? human interaction with genuine people is scarce, it sucks to be losing so much of it at once.
internet "RIP"'s are the absolute worst things i have ever witnessed.. that little three letter grouping makes me so sick, so sad, so angry! i will never be at peace with the thought of anyone dying, or with the idea that death is a part of life.
my theory that i am growing up in reverse, only cements itself deeper with every passing day.. my face is changing and my body is changing and i am a woman now, but my head my god my head..its something else in here
on a higher note, my faith in love has been restored. through the beautiful friendships i have been blessed with, and jason, i know that it was only pain and regrets forcing me to think it was a sham. love is still painful, though.
falling in love with someone, i had forgot how it feels. its the most amazing and peaceful emotion, the most beautiful way to feel, ever. it hurts when it ends, i am sad to have to say goodbye to the amazing relationship i formed with jason, strictly because of distance. i will always love him, but not being able to see one another just isn't fair to either of us. more sadness
even though i am sad about so many things, i am happy at the same time. i am learning so much and i am coming to realize how life should be lived, whats important.. its nice to have logical priorities.
i dont know how to end these things