More.
Crazy meds can mess with your dreams. My crazy meds seem to have made my dreams more vivid, or at least made me remember more details of them. I've always had pretty vivid dreams, but not often dreams that seemed to relate to anything specific that I was going through. That's why I have a "dreams" tag on my LJ; I would write down dreams that seemed Important. Nowadays, I have dreams all the time about priests and religion, and while they definitely leave an impression on me (sometimes for a few days after), they are so common that they don't seem worth writing about.
But I do want to document this one from a week or two ago. It had to do with Harry Potter. At CC, we have been doing a series this Lent about Biblical themes in the Harry Potter series. It's been fun. So the dream I had started with me and Lee and some others hanging out with Harry Potter. He was about to go fight Voldemort, and we were supposed to wait a certain amount of time or something before going to check on him or doing some important action. But we kind of fell asleep on the job. We were playing cards and relaxing, and all of a sudden we realized that Harry Potter had been gone a really long time, and whoops! we should probably be helping him. But when we went to check things out, we were too late. Voldemort and defeated Harry Potter. Because of us.
Later in the dream, and somehow as a result of Harry Potter having been defeated by Voldemort, the Catholic Church also defeated the Episcopal Church. This was apparent when my dream self and Lee attempted to go to CC, and instead of finding our usual priest there, Fr Perez (uber Catholic!) was there. He was running the show and had a bunch of acolyte minions guarding the gate. Neal from CC was also there, and someone was barring him from leading the service, and he vowed that he would go into hiding with the Episcopalians and continue the church underground. People were being forced to become Catholics, though there was still a thin line of freedom for those who wanted to leave to the Episcopal ghettos, as long as they would leave immediately and not return.
Lee and I took our family and fled to the Episcopal ghetto.
Concerning May 20, I think that presenting myself to the bishop and reaffirming my baptismal vows may be my best hope for solving this ongoing Catholic/Episcopal crisis. I already know how I feel on this side of doing it; how will I feel on the other side? Maybe it will be a big relief, and I will wonder why I didn't do it years ago. Maybe it won't feel like anything changed at all, especially since now I know that it won't necessarily make me not Catholic. Does that mean I'll have, like, dual citizenship? If I do this, then I will have a "letter" in the Episcopal Church, and any time I change Episcopal parishes, all I will have to do is make sure my letter follows me. Then I will be considered an Episcopalian in good standing and will be able to vote for vestry members and stuff. But I might still be able to just stroll over to St. P's, make a confession, and go back to Mass. It might be slightly more complicated than that, but maybe not.
Anyway. The point is that if I do this, it is reversible. I can change my mind back. So maybe the best thing is to do it and see what it's like, to see if it's as terrifying as I think it will be. And take it from there.
But I do want to document this one from a week or two ago. It had to do with Harry Potter. At CC, we have been doing a series this Lent about Biblical themes in the Harry Potter series. It's been fun. So the dream I had started with me and Lee and some others hanging out with Harry Potter. He was about to go fight Voldemort, and we were supposed to wait a certain amount of time or something before going to check on him or doing some important action. But we kind of fell asleep on the job. We were playing cards and relaxing, and all of a sudden we realized that Harry Potter had been gone a really long time, and whoops! we should probably be helping him. But when we went to check things out, we were too late. Voldemort and defeated Harry Potter. Because of us.
Later in the dream, and somehow as a result of Harry Potter having been defeated by Voldemort, the Catholic Church also defeated the Episcopal Church. This was apparent when my dream self and Lee attempted to go to CC, and instead of finding our usual priest there, Fr Perez (uber Catholic!) was there. He was running the show and had a bunch of acolyte minions guarding the gate. Neal from CC was also there, and someone was barring him from leading the service, and he vowed that he would go into hiding with the Episcopalians and continue the church underground. People were being forced to become Catholics, though there was still a thin line of freedom for those who wanted to leave to the Episcopal ghettos, as long as they would leave immediately and not return.
Lee and I took our family and fled to the Episcopal ghetto.
Concerning May 20, I think that presenting myself to the bishop and reaffirming my baptismal vows may be my best hope for solving this ongoing Catholic/Episcopal crisis. I already know how I feel on this side of doing it; how will I feel on the other side? Maybe it will be a big relief, and I will wonder why I didn't do it years ago. Maybe it won't feel like anything changed at all, especially since now I know that it won't necessarily make me not Catholic. Does that mean I'll have, like, dual citizenship? If I do this, then I will have a "letter" in the Episcopal Church, and any time I change Episcopal parishes, all I will have to do is make sure my letter follows me. Then I will be considered an Episcopalian in good standing and will be able to vote for vestry members and stuff. But I might still be able to just stroll over to St. P's, make a confession, and go back to Mass. It might be slightly more complicated than that, but maybe not.
Anyway. The point is that if I do this, it is reversible. I can change my mind back. So maybe the best thing is to do it and see what it's like, to see if it's as terrifying as I think it will be. And take it from there.