here i go...
long time no type. here goes some random shit.
life's been shitty lately-- but that's how it goes and i'm not complaining too much. every day is as good as we make it i guess.
things have changed. people have changed. i have changed. that's what happens as we grow up. it's not something that can be controlled. it's part of life.
i work at texas roadhouse now. i have been working there since we opened in september. i work with some great girls and have alotta fun. :-)
i dance still. it's alotta fun. we goof off more than normal though.
my friends are my life. my girl group got sorta conflicted earlier this year when we made a few wrong choices. its okay though, we are straight... even though not as close as we first were- which sucks. i love all of you girls so much.
there are 3 girls that i love more than life-- they keep me alive [no joke] --don't be offended... not like i'm saying these are my only friends...
lauren, you are my life support. this year i have been through some shit, and no matter how mad we got at eachother when we were drunk [lol] you keep me going, seriously. i love you more than anything- as you already know.
Holly-- where the hell would i be without you- NOWHERE. you and me have so much in common. you get me where most people don't. you're my girl. you make me laugh. we are dumb and don't give a shit. its so much fun and i love you so damn much big booty barbie.
Chelsea- me and you have just recently been getting close- but we are real with eachother and thats awesome. theres no drama and i love you special C. we BEAT IT UP, babe.
[thank you 3 so much for never letting me down]
i miss him. he was my life for the past year and a half. about 3 weeks ago he shut me out for good. it sucks... but in reality i guess it's the best thing that really could happen to me. he didn't love me, because if you really love someone you can not push them out of your life one random week when you meet a new girl and not give a damn the way he does. it's so unbelievable. it's like all i have ever believed in has let me down. at first i didn't know where the fuck to turn-- but i have the best friends in the world and without them i would not have gotten through this shit. i'm still not really over it. i never will be. i loved him more than myself. yeah, i picked alotta fights. that's just me and he knew me and understood me. i love him. on the other side of my personality split i fucking hate him with a passion. he's one of the worst things i feel like i have ever brought into my life. he's fucked me over in every way possible. all i have needed is a friend to listen lately.. thinking i could always rely on him..and he hasn't even been there. it doesn't matter to him. i was "acting" when one of my friends DIED. i wanted ATTENTION. what kind of heartless fucking asshole can say something like that, honestly. all of the god damn broken promises. it hurts like hell. i feel like my heart is gone. i am last in his life now. i run across his mind once in a while-- but then he's with her and there is no time for me. my personality doesnt even come close to competing with hers. yeah-- he ripped my heart out along time ago-- but that wasn't enough. he still wants to crush it up. i dk how far he plans on taking it. i got a voicemail tonight saying call me back after 9 because i am with allyson. i call him back and he informs me he is talking with her and what did i need. what do you want from me. you've killed the old me. i want her back. you put me as low as i have ever gone. what else do you fucking need?
...i'm also tired of being used. it's my own fault, i know. but i'm gonna change. honestly.
i wonder if god is real or not. i think there is a god. i just wonder where he is sometimes.
i miss jim.
i miss being little.
i hate alot of things.
"someone ran away with her innocense- a memory she can't get out of her head... and i can only imagine what she's thinking when she's praying kneeling at the edge of her bed and she says take me away and take me father-- surround me now in holy water"
i want to go to the beach. it is like my heaven. i wanna stop making bad decisions. they are addicting though. i broke one bad habit that was screwing me up emotionally[or i hope i did]
i'm over drama.people talk no matter what.
i don't like being prayed about in public when i am not present.
i think some people are hypocritical [no thats not just directed to one person]
i'm sorry for some of the people i have hurt recently.
life's been shitty lately-- but that's how it goes and i'm not complaining too much. every day is as good as we make it i guess.
things have changed. people have changed. i have changed. that's what happens as we grow up. it's not something that can be controlled. it's part of life.
i work at texas roadhouse now. i have been working there since we opened in september. i work with some great girls and have alotta fun. :-)
i dance still. it's alotta fun. we goof off more than normal though.
my friends are my life. my girl group got sorta conflicted earlier this year when we made a few wrong choices. its okay though, we are straight... even though not as close as we first were- which sucks. i love all of you girls so much.
there are 3 girls that i love more than life-- they keep me alive [no joke] --don't be offended... not like i'm saying these are my only friends...
lauren, you are my life support. this year i have been through some shit, and no matter how mad we got at eachother when we were drunk [lol] you keep me going, seriously. i love you more than anything- as you already know.
Holly-- where the hell would i be without you- NOWHERE. you and me have so much in common. you get me where most people don't. you're my girl. you make me laugh. we are dumb and don't give a shit. its so much fun and i love you so damn much big booty barbie.
Chelsea- me and you have just recently been getting close- but we are real with eachother and thats awesome. theres no drama and i love you special C. we BEAT IT UP, babe.
[thank you 3 so much for never letting me down]
i miss him. he was my life for the past year and a half. about 3 weeks ago he shut me out for good. it sucks... but in reality i guess it's the best thing that really could happen to me. he didn't love me, because if you really love someone you can not push them out of your life one random week when you meet a new girl and not give a damn the way he does. it's so unbelievable. it's like all i have ever believed in has let me down. at first i didn't know where the fuck to turn-- but i have the best friends in the world and without them i would not have gotten through this shit. i'm still not really over it. i never will be. i loved him more than myself. yeah, i picked alotta fights. that's just me and he knew me and understood me. i love him. on the other side of my personality split i fucking hate him with a passion. he's one of the worst things i feel like i have ever brought into my life. he's fucked me over in every way possible. all i have needed is a friend to listen lately.. thinking i could always rely on him..and he hasn't even been there. it doesn't matter to him. i was "acting" when one of my friends DIED. i wanted ATTENTION. what kind of heartless fucking asshole can say something like that, honestly. all of the god damn broken promises. it hurts like hell. i feel like my heart is gone. i am last in his life now. i run across his mind once in a while-- but then he's with her and there is no time for me. my personality doesnt even come close to competing with hers. yeah-- he ripped my heart out along time ago-- but that wasn't enough. he still wants to crush it up. i dk how far he plans on taking it. i got a voicemail tonight saying call me back after 9 because i am with allyson. i call him back and he informs me he is talking with her and what did i need. what do you want from me. you've killed the old me. i want her back. you put me as low as i have ever gone. what else do you fucking need?
...i'm also tired of being used. it's my own fault, i know. but i'm gonna change. honestly.
i wonder if god is real or not. i think there is a god. i just wonder where he is sometimes.
i miss jim.
i miss being little.
i hate alot of things.
"someone ran away with her innocense- a memory she can't get out of her head... and i can only imagine what she's thinking when she's praying kneeling at the edge of her bed and she says take me away and take me father-- surround me now in holy water"
i want to go to the beach. it is like my heaven. i wanna stop making bad decisions. they are addicting though. i broke one bad habit that was screwing me up emotionally[or i hope i did]
i'm over drama.people talk no matter what.
i don't like being prayed about in public when i am not present.
i think some people are hypocritical [no thats not just directed to one person]
i'm sorry for some of the people i have hurt recently.