i'm done. for good this time.
juss got home from tenn. i'll write about that tomorrow.
i'm going thru some shit right now and i need to vent so if you don't wanna hear this, then don't read.
i've been with a guy the past year of my life. i cared about him more than anything in the world. he was everything to me. yeah there were mistakes made. both by me and him. i forgave him for alotta shit tho, and we tried to move on. i was workin on the friends thing and i left for the beach and god forbid kissed a guy. thats it. and it wasnt juss a hookup, we had talked the past night and hung out. i never see or talk to this guy anymore, but i guess that that kiss was too much for him to forgive me for. that really shows me something after a year of all the shit he's done and i have looked past it. he'd hung out with a girl a while back and shed caused major problems with us. well me and him hadnt talked for a week and guess where hes been while i've been gone? with her. and he tells me they r just friends, and he would never like her and he loves me and wants to make it work, however tonight when he couldnt pick up the phone when i called cause she was there. interesting. but again, i say ok maybe we can work it out. he swears all they did was hug. she sends me this convo him and her had...
munchkin385 (11:07:32 PM): Clump 07 (11:46:29 PM): talk cuz your cool as hell to talk to
Clump 07 (11:46:32 PM): me and you friends
munchkin385 (11:46:34 PM): yeah
Clump 07 (11:46:35 PM): and it stops
Clump 07 (11:46:45 PM): no more cuttlin no more teasing no more nuttin ya knkow
Clump 07 (11:46:53 PM): just straight up laughin and talkin bout shit
Clump 07 (11:47:19 PM): i wand dudes to be like so whats up with you and sherm and you be like he's one of my best friends
Clump 07 (11:47:37 PM): striaght up like tell me bout shit you do with other dudes and shit and me be like your movin to fast or your movin to slow idk
Clump 07 (11:47:41 PM): like friends and shit ya know
so i call him, and what happens, i get bitched at for it. so i'm done. i wasted so much with him. i wish it was as easy as me not to care about him as it is for him. i know i kissed another guy, but i never see him. hes on the phone with her, chillin with her, smokin with her. and lying about it. have the decency to atleast tell me whats going on. lie after lie after lie. i don't wanna be done. i look at other couples and say hey thats what we had and can have back. i remember the good times. but then i call him and he's 100 percent different. i gotta let that go. i love him and i will always care for him, but his feelings are not there anymore no matter what he says. they can't be. he said he needed to experiment. thas been his excuse since before our relationship even began. this is gonna hurt worse than anything, but i'm done. and i pray for good this time.
thank you lauren for talkin. i love you more than life [seriously.]
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel light when you're gone away
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
i'll always love you
i'm going thru some shit right now and i need to vent so if you don't wanna hear this, then don't read.
i've been with a guy the past year of my life. i cared about him more than anything in the world. he was everything to me. yeah there were mistakes made. both by me and him. i forgave him for alotta shit tho, and we tried to move on. i was workin on the friends thing and i left for the beach and god forbid kissed a guy. thats it. and it wasnt juss a hookup, we had talked the past night and hung out. i never see or talk to this guy anymore, but i guess that that kiss was too much for him to forgive me for. that really shows me something after a year of all the shit he's done and i have looked past it. he'd hung out with a girl a while back and shed caused major problems with us. well me and him hadnt talked for a week and guess where hes been while i've been gone? with her. and he tells me they r just friends, and he would never like her and he loves me and wants to make it work, however tonight when he couldnt pick up the phone when i called cause she was there. interesting. but again, i say ok maybe we can work it out. he swears all they did was hug. she sends me this convo him and her had...
munchkin385 (11:07:32 PM): Clump 07 (11:46:29 PM): talk cuz your cool as hell to talk to
Clump 07 (11:46:32 PM): me and you friends
munchkin385 (11:46:34 PM): yeah
Clump 07 (11:46:35 PM): and it stops
Clump 07 (11:46:45 PM): no more cuttlin no more teasing no more nuttin ya knkow
Clump 07 (11:46:53 PM): just straight up laughin and talkin bout shit
Clump 07 (11:47:19 PM): i wand dudes to be like so whats up with you and sherm and you be like he's one of my best friends
Clump 07 (11:47:37 PM): striaght up like tell me bout shit you do with other dudes and shit and me be like your movin to fast or your movin to slow idk
Clump 07 (11:47:41 PM): like friends and shit ya know
so i call him, and what happens, i get bitched at for it. so i'm done. i wasted so much with him. i wish it was as easy as me not to care about him as it is for him. i know i kissed another guy, but i never see him. hes on the phone with her, chillin with her, smokin with her. and lying about it. have the decency to atleast tell me whats going on. lie after lie after lie. i don't wanna be done. i look at other couples and say hey thats what we had and can have back. i remember the good times. but then i call him and he's 100 percent different. i gotta let that go. i love him and i will always care for him, but his feelings are not there anymore no matter what he says. they can't be. he said he needed to experiment. thas been his excuse since before our relationship even began. this is gonna hurt worse than anything, but i'm done. and i pray for good this time.
thank you lauren for talkin. i love you more than life [seriously.]
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel light when you're gone away
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
i'll always love you