life
is different now. its changed for me. i see things different and clearly now. ive grown. ive read my juornals and i have grown so much on here livejournal. ive been through alot of things and experienced so much. i dont regret anything tho. so today was a chill and lazy day. i did not leave my house or go out. or seemy babe. and tomorow i dont think i will see him agian becuz hes going out to the club. i hate that he goes but i dont want to be one of those girlfriends who tel their bf whats to do and not do. i dont like keeping him to myself [yes i do] but at least i try not be like those girls. i lovev him very much. and i dont want to push him away, cuz i dont want to lose him. but anyway, hopefully we hang out sat. cuz its the elysia and upon show and i eaaaaaaaaally want to go.. well i guess i wouldnt be tooo bumed if i didnt go. its nothing that important to me really. but spending time with him is. man i just realized, we havent been to a show together in a while. or at all? idk i forget. but anywho, im going to try and get money for sat hopefully. and nothing planned for sunday. i need more / new friends. for real. i dont hang out much with any of them. just christen when we club or when theres parties i hang out with crystal and jenalyn and angelica. i love those girls! but on a daily basis? no. i guess i have friends but not a "best friend" or close one that is. man my last bff was jessica. haha. we would hang out ALL THE TIME. hate to say, we had fun. lots lots. we would go everywhere together pretty much. but now we are enemies. so oh well. she ruined it. haha. well i need a new one. hjaha. hmm i need a job really. i thnink a job will anwswer all my prayers. cuz ive been depressed lately. if it was nt for miguel i would have no one, and nothing, . seriously. i would have no one to keep me going. and well a job would solve my boredness and no-moneyness. haha. and i can get my tats like ive been wanting too and a fuckin car and god who know s what else, ahh yes, to get out of this god forseaken house. i want to move out with miguel. i cant wait. wow. i just realized, miguel is the first person i hav e ever really thought of seeing a future for us. a long term relationship.moving in together. being together for a while. all that i just wrote. haha. for real. its stupid to say but i think well be together for years to come. hehe.
well its awefully late and nothing really new has happend to me. my life is a routine with no job still and my updates are always the same too cuz i live my life bumming and hanging out with miguel all the time. so i really shouldnt update this cuz well its always the same.sadly. its just my thoughts really.
well if you want an update then heres this:
- me and christen went to the cllub,
- danced,
- got high.
- my new name now is "big butt, huh??! [hand movement] naaaa."
- went t o marios party
- applied at kohls, sears, jcpennys
- spend time with my love everyday.
alrighty goodbye goodnight sleep tight <3