(no subject)
Woke up this morning from some sort of troubling dream in which I could not for the life of me remember what aerin's tatoo looked like. And then I realized that part of the dream was true....I could remember bits of it, the gist, there was elvish and a lizard and some vines but I couldn't picture it in its entirety. So I went to her website...the facebook memorial hoping it would be in a picture somewhere...and it was. And I got to looking at pictures...and there was this one, of just aerin, being aerin, making a face that encompassed everything she was and why I was such good friends with her and I started to cry in spite of myself. I haven't done that in ages. I had assumed the grieving process was over. I guess not because I miss her more today for no reason at all than I have in a very long time. I know I'm stating the obvious by saying this but for the record I think it absolutely sucks that she got her life randomly cut short without warning for no reason at all. I know life isn't fair and shit happens...but I really really hate what happened to her because she wasn't finished and she should be here. And I think the reason I don't talk about it very often, and the reason I never wrote on that facebook wall like all of her other friends is because there's a part of me that is still very very angry about the whole situation. Good, glad that's out of my system...I don't feel better but I guess I'm not supposed to really.