I just want a way out...
Wow I don't even know what the hell to say right now. It seems like so much stuff is going on right now, and it all sucks. School is going terribly for me and I feel like I am not going to be able to fix it. I know I will be able to change it before the time comes when I get final grades, but it is going to take so much time and energy that I do not have to finish it all. I dunno what the hell to do. I barely have a spare minute to finish regular hw, let a lone try to study more and do all my research papers, and make up work.
Besides school, my health is so shitty. I don't want to go into detail for the world to know the specifics, but I feel like my physical self as well as my mental health is crumbling slowly. Soon, I am going to have a major break down, I can just tell....it sucks. Also, it is like a matter of days before Steve is gone. That is so depressing to me. I really want him to be happy, and Karina is an awesome person and its so obvious as to why he cares about her so much, but our little group of friends is a family in my eyes, and its like one of my brothers is leaving. That sounds really sappy I know, but I am being completely serious. I know he will be back not that long from now, but until then so much is going to change, just as it did when Colie went away to school. It's so weird, growing up. I really hope things don't change, and when he comes back or when we go to visit, everything picks up the way we left it.
I just can't handle anything anymore, I hate change, and so much in my life is constantly changing. I am so glad that I have been with Sean for a while now, because I love him and it is like the one steady thing that I have to hold on too, and the one person that is going to be here no matter what happens in my life.
I dunno, this entry probably doesn't make sense to anyone other than myself. Basically all you need to know is that I am falling apart, mentally and physically, and our little group is about to have a piece of it missing soon, and I can not handle change anymore. I do not want to leave NJ and start all over, cause obviously I hate change, and every time something is different, it takes me a long time to cope again. I just don't know what to do anymore....I feel like I am complaining about stupid stuff, but all of this isnt stupid to me...
I am sick of losing important people in my life, and it makes me sad to know that majority of those people are running away.
Nice life I guess
Besides school, my health is so shitty. I don't want to go into detail for the world to know the specifics, but I feel like my physical self as well as my mental health is crumbling slowly. Soon, I am going to have a major break down, I can just tell....it sucks. Also, it is like a matter of days before Steve is gone. That is so depressing to me. I really want him to be happy, and Karina is an awesome person and its so obvious as to why he cares about her so much, but our little group of friends is a family in my eyes, and its like one of my brothers is leaving. That sounds really sappy I know, but I am being completely serious. I know he will be back not that long from now, but until then so much is going to change, just as it did when Colie went away to school. It's so weird, growing up. I really hope things don't change, and when he comes back or when we go to visit, everything picks up the way we left it.
I just can't handle anything anymore, I hate change, and so much in my life is constantly changing. I am so glad that I have been with Sean for a while now, because I love him and it is like the one steady thing that I have to hold on too, and the one person that is going to be here no matter what happens in my life.
I dunno, this entry probably doesn't make sense to anyone other than myself. Basically all you need to know is that I am falling apart, mentally and physically, and our little group is about to have a piece of it missing soon, and I can not handle change anymore. I do not want to leave NJ and start all over, cause obviously I hate change, and every time something is different, it takes me a long time to cope again. I just don't know what to do anymore....I feel like I am complaining about stupid stuff, but all of this isnt stupid to me...
I am sick of losing important people in my life, and it makes me sad to know that majority of those people are running away.
Nice life I guess