(no subject)
some news to update... (this is really long)
first off im really pissed of at the moment and this entry will probably reflect that
rich is up to chemo 3 days a week and radiaion 2 days a week.. hes lost 10lbs... he shaved his head so when the chemo kicks in his baldness wont be a shock... doctors say theyll know whether he'll loose both kidneys or just one by august...
we found a singer... hes name is jesse... hes really cool and has a great voice... hopefully he works out in the long run.. he seems really into it.. hes in another band but i think he realizes how much better we are than his other band.. i think its only a matter of time before he quits that band...
i met someone... shes really cool... her name is leah... shes beautiful... amazingly so... i find myself looking at her and wondering how the hell i got where i am cause i cant imagine someone that is as gorgeous as her dating me... shes not my recent normal either... rather than being short, having short hair, tattoos, and blatant indie attire... shes 5'6, shoulder length brown hair, no tattoos at all, and dresses somewhere between indie and preppy... however.. she listens to all the same music i do... its awesome... i get this feeling when i hang out with her... one i havent gotten in a long time... im really giddy.... this leads to why i am pissed at the moment
my friends... they think im a band friend when i have a girlfriend (or im dating someone etc)... they feel that i dont hang out enough.. and rich decided to warn/express his concern on the issue... well fuck that... lets recap my past 'relationships' that they have known me for shall we....
sara: she was in my life fore a VERY long time before they were... they cant use that as an example.. my life already was what it was before i met them.. i fit THEM into MY routine.. i wasnt not a core best friend yet... so this example cant be used
jackie: first off i didnt date her.. i chaced her for 3 weeks... i would have liked to.. but it never really happened.. we hung out a lot.. and yes i hung out with her instead of them quite a bit.. but only because i was trying to get to the point where we were dating... and i was chacing her... period.... again a bad example of the point they are trying to make
danielle: they used to joke that it didnt even seem like i had a girlfriend cuase i never hung out with her... id see her early in the evening.. and shed go to bed or whatever and id go out... she never went out and i always did... on top of that.. she had social anxiety disorder.. she couldnt handle going out or going to their house to hang out... what was i supposed to do... tell her to fuck off cuase of her disorder... no... again not something they can use
jen: once again i never dated her... it was what it was... and either way i hung out with them all the time... almost every day... jen and i only hung out a handful of times.... on top of that.. she moved into my house for a little while cause she had no place to go.. i couldnt hang out with them all the time cause she needed to be able to get into the house and i had to be home for her to do that... yet another example....
leah: tuesday was our first date... and i didnt hang out with them cause i was with her... one date... every single other day this week i have hung out with them... wed... i hung out with them and didnt even call her... thurs... i invited HER to come with ME to the bar so i could hang out with the guys and still see her.. and after the bar I took HER to Ants house to hang out, which is where everyone was going... fri... again i told her i wanted to go to the bar.. so she came out with me to the bar rather than me going with her somewhere ... and afterwards i went to a party with her that jax should have gone to cause leahs friend likes him and hes interested and she was going... he pussed out as always though... tonght... i went to big daddys to support my singer in his other band which i feel is where we should all have been.. i have not hung out with leah.. so of the past 5 days that ive been 'with' her... ive only actually been alone with her and not hung out with the guys once...
rich was like.. you can hang out at our place... if i want to hang out with the girl im seeing.. why would i ask her to go to my freidns house to hang out rather than my own house... unless i want to hang out with everyone...rich was like... yea but our house is like the mecca where everyone goes... what the fuck are you talking about... sandra hangs out there cause jim fucking lives there.. if i lived there youd see whatever girl i was with all the time... but i dont... fucking jax practically LIVED at kristen ... i can understand leaving the bar and going to hang out.. and im sure that will happen a million times.. it just hasnt happened yet... besides.. i hate bringing girls to their house.. honstly is disgusting... their apartment is horrible.. its filthy... it smells... it only stays clean for a few days before its gross again... why would i want to bring someone there when i could take them home or go to their house... im would amost be embarrassed... and its not even my house... in the fall.. when we all live together and i date someone.. of course theyll see her all the time.. just like in any relantionship we'll spen half the time at my place and half at hers... then they wont be able to say shit... i would put money on it that if jim didnt live there.. we'd see a lot less of him.... only on nights that we were all going back to rich and jax apt would we see him.. otherwise hed go to her place or his own place.. its such bullshit... on top of that.. dont bring up something i havent done yet.. especially when your examples are weak... most of the girls ive 'dated' were only a few weeks at most... you have to put in the time early on to get to the point where you can call someone your girlfriend... period... besides... im not one of those people who makes the person im dating become 100% part of my life and not do anything about her life... when you meet someone they have their own life already .. their own freinds.. its is just as much your responsibility to become part of their life as it is to try to make them part of yours.. it can never be more than 50/50 or its unbalanced and unfair... she as met them all and hung out with them all 2 nights in a row... i have to put in my time and hang out with her and her friends too... luckily her friends are cool and came to the bar with her so i got to meet them and hang out with them too.. and i dont think the guys get that... jim goes to socials with sandra.. but other than that shes part of his life.. she hangs out with US... goes to OUR bar... and maybe shes ok with that but if it were me.. i wouldnt be ok with it... kristen works at OUR bar... of course it would seem like jax was hanging out all the time.. he came to the bar cause she was there.. jax would then go and sleep at her house every night and maybe stop by the apt for a little while.. or he wouldnt go out and hang out with us and then go pick her up and go to her place.. i feel thats unhealthy.. if jax or jim were good boyfreinds (and i cant say i know all the ins and outs, they might be amazing, this is just what i see).. they would be just as involved with their girlfreinds friends and lives as their girlfriends were with theirs... period... another thing... when rich dated his danielle.. we never saw him.. he was never around.. he never went out.. he locked himself in his room with her and never came out... even when we were all there... its bullshit... and now with kristina... yea she comes over (or did till she realized we dont really like her cause she treats rich like shit)... but not all the time... he hangs out with her too... shit.. she treats him like crap and he still hangs out with her...so hes being a hypocrite... it just pisses me off so much... i think their house is only the 'mecca' cause they inadvertantly force it to be by refusing to ever go anywhere else... its like pulling teeth to get them to go out after the bar to a to go elsewhere... they only go if at least another one of us is going and at least a decent size group of people that they know (ie from the bar) are going... its so rediculous.... i dont want to type anymore...
first off im really pissed of at the moment and this entry will probably reflect that
rich is up to chemo 3 days a week and radiaion 2 days a week.. hes lost 10lbs... he shaved his head so when the chemo kicks in his baldness wont be a shock... doctors say theyll know whether he'll loose both kidneys or just one by august...
we found a singer... hes name is jesse... hes really cool and has a great voice... hopefully he works out in the long run.. he seems really into it.. hes in another band but i think he realizes how much better we are than his other band.. i think its only a matter of time before he quits that band...
i met someone... shes really cool... her name is leah... shes beautiful... amazingly so... i find myself looking at her and wondering how the hell i got where i am cause i cant imagine someone that is as gorgeous as her dating me... shes not my recent normal either... rather than being short, having short hair, tattoos, and blatant indie attire... shes 5'6, shoulder length brown hair, no tattoos at all, and dresses somewhere between indie and preppy... however.. she listens to all the same music i do... its awesome... i get this feeling when i hang out with her... one i havent gotten in a long time... im really giddy.... this leads to why i am pissed at the moment
my friends... they think im a band friend when i have a girlfriend (or im dating someone etc)... they feel that i dont hang out enough.. and rich decided to warn/express his concern on the issue... well fuck that... lets recap my past 'relationships' that they have known me for shall we....
sara: she was in my life fore a VERY long time before they were... they cant use that as an example.. my life already was what it was before i met them.. i fit THEM into MY routine.. i wasnt not a core best friend yet... so this example cant be used
jackie: first off i didnt date her.. i chaced her for 3 weeks... i would have liked to.. but it never really happened.. we hung out a lot.. and yes i hung out with her instead of them quite a bit.. but only because i was trying to get to the point where we were dating... and i was chacing her... period.... again a bad example of the point they are trying to make
danielle: they used to joke that it didnt even seem like i had a girlfriend cuase i never hung out with her... id see her early in the evening.. and shed go to bed or whatever and id go out... she never went out and i always did... on top of that.. she had social anxiety disorder.. she couldnt handle going out or going to their house to hang out... what was i supposed to do... tell her to fuck off cuase of her disorder... no... again not something they can use
jen: once again i never dated her... it was what it was... and either way i hung out with them all the time... almost every day... jen and i only hung out a handful of times.... on top of that.. she moved into my house for a little while cause she had no place to go.. i couldnt hang out with them all the time cause she needed to be able to get into the house and i had to be home for her to do that... yet another example....
leah: tuesday was our first date... and i didnt hang out with them cause i was with her... one date... every single other day this week i have hung out with them... wed... i hung out with them and didnt even call her... thurs... i invited HER to come with ME to the bar so i could hang out with the guys and still see her.. and after the bar I took HER to Ants house to hang out, which is where everyone was going... fri... again i told her i wanted to go to the bar.. so she came out with me to the bar rather than me going with her somewhere ... and afterwards i went to a party with her that jax should have gone to cause leahs friend likes him and hes interested and she was going... he pussed out as always though... tonght... i went to big daddys to support my singer in his other band which i feel is where we should all have been.. i have not hung out with leah.. so of the past 5 days that ive been 'with' her... ive only actually been alone with her and not hung out with the guys once...
rich was like.. you can hang out at our place... if i want to hang out with the girl im seeing.. why would i ask her to go to my freidns house to hang out rather than my own house... unless i want to hang out with everyone...rich was like... yea but our house is like the mecca where everyone goes... what the fuck are you talking about... sandra hangs out there cause jim fucking lives there.. if i lived there youd see whatever girl i was with all the time... but i dont... fucking jax practically LIVED at kristen ... i can understand leaving the bar and going to hang out.. and im sure that will happen a million times.. it just hasnt happened yet... besides.. i hate bringing girls to their house.. honstly is disgusting... their apartment is horrible.. its filthy... it smells... it only stays clean for a few days before its gross again... why would i want to bring someone there when i could take them home or go to their house... im would amost be embarrassed... and its not even my house... in the fall.. when we all live together and i date someone.. of course theyll see her all the time.. just like in any relantionship we'll spen half the time at my place and half at hers... then they wont be able to say shit... i would put money on it that if jim didnt live there.. we'd see a lot less of him.... only on nights that we were all going back to rich and jax apt would we see him.. otherwise hed go to her place or his own place.. its such bullshit... on top of that.. dont bring up something i havent done yet.. especially when your examples are weak... most of the girls ive 'dated' were only a few weeks at most... you have to put in the time early on to get to the point where you can call someone your girlfriend... period... besides... im not one of those people who makes the person im dating become 100% part of my life and not do anything about her life... when you meet someone they have their own life already .. their own freinds.. its is just as much your responsibility to become part of their life as it is to try to make them part of yours.. it can never be more than 50/50 or its unbalanced and unfair... she as met them all and hung out with them all 2 nights in a row... i have to put in my time and hang out with her and her friends too... luckily her friends are cool and came to the bar with her so i got to meet them and hang out with them too.. and i dont think the guys get that... jim goes to socials with sandra.. but other than that shes part of his life.. she hangs out with US... goes to OUR bar... and maybe shes ok with that but if it were me.. i wouldnt be ok with it... kristen works at OUR bar... of course it would seem like jax was hanging out all the time.. he came to the bar cause she was there.. jax would then go and sleep at her house every night and maybe stop by the apt for a little while.. or he wouldnt go out and hang out with us and then go pick her up and go to her place.. i feel thats unhealthy.. if jax or jim were good boyfreinds (and i cant say i know all the ins and outs, they might be amazing, this is just what i see).. they would be just as involved with their girlfreinds friends and lives as their girlfriends were with theirs... period... another thing... when rich dated his danielle.. we never saw him.. he was never around.. he never went out.. he locked himself in his room with her and never came out... even when we were all there... its bullshit... and now with kristina... yea she comes over (or did till she realized we dont really like her cause she treats rich like shit)... but not all the time... he hangs out with her too... shit.. she treats him like crap and he still hangs out with her...so hes being a hypocrite... it just pisses me off so much... i think their house is only the 'mecca' cause they inadvertantly force it to be by refusing to ever go anywhere else... its like pulling teeth to get them to go out after the bar to a to go elsewhere... they only go if at least another one of us is going and at least a decent size group of people that they know (ie from the bar) are going... its so rediculous.... i dont want to type anymore...