A Story.
There once was a man. His name was *censored.* Why it got censored out I don't know. He was thirty-seven years old. Peanut butter was his favorite meal. He'd eat peanut butter until his hair would turn into grass. *Censored* loved to play Lacrosse and Quidditch. Quidditch was a little bit harder for him to play being that he had no flying broom nor a quaffle to play with. His favorite hobby was licking stamps and putting them on his dining room table. He had many stamps. Some of his favorite stamps included cheesecake stamps, Marilyn Monroe stamps, car stamps, and George Washington stamps. He also had some mutlicolored stamps that he'd put under the table in case anyone were to drop their fork.
*Censored* was playing golf one day. It was a beautiful day; no clouds in the sky, and there was only a thirty percent chance of disease in the area. He set up his tee and put a pink ball on it. The ball fell off. He was wondering why it didn't work. No body knew why it didn't work. He called tech support and they didn't know what was wrong either. So he gave up golf to get a milkshake at Arby's.
"I'll have one Jamocha milkshake." *censored* declared to the register. The register didn't respond. No one did. He wondered what was going on. Tech support didn't cover Arby's so he had to buy a newspaper to pass the time before someone came to help him out. He went back to the register and it sucked him into a 4th dimentia out in Ohio. He could see people but they could not see him.
This land is filled with Jamocha milkshakes and Nalgene bottles filled to the top with Whipped Cream. But the only problem is everything is untouchable. You can't touch anything. Not because it's forbidden, but because it's not REAL. *Censored* hated that. He despised the fact that the whipped cream Nalgene bottles taunted him and that the Jamocha's were prespiring.
A fairy of light came to him while he was resting in the shade of a old waterfall. "Pick up your belongings and come with me!" she declared in a booming voice. *Censored* listened and went with her. She led him into a far away place where pickles rained down from the trees and where Nintendo 64's were set up to gigantic big screens of butterflies. The air smelled of chopped metal and the ground was soft like melted computer mice. She led him into a dark valley where she mugged him and took fitty bucks from his wallet.
*Censored* felt like a total sucker for falling for that old trick. It's the oldest trick in the book. Fairy comes up to you and leads you into a far away land only to take your money. Happens all the time. At least it does in Graceland. Graceland has 50 times the national average of the United States in attacks in dark alleyways. Trust me, I'm a doctor.
When all was said and done *censored* made his way out of the weird worlds and back into his own house so he could lick stamps. Remember this story everytime you cross the international dateline.
The End.
*Censored* was playing golf one day. It was a beautiful day; no clouds in the sky, and there was only a thirty percent chance of disease in the area. He set up his tee and put a pink ball on it. The ball fell off. He was wondering why it didn't work. No body knew why it didn't work. He called tech support and they didn't know what was wrong either. So he gave up golf to get a milkshake at Arby's.
"I'll have one Jamocha milkshake." *censored* declared to the register. The register didn't respond. No one did. He wondered what was going on. Tech support didn't cover Arby's so he had to buy a newspaper to pass the time before someone came to help him out. He went back to the register and it sucked him into a 4th dimentia out in Ohio. He could see people but they could not see him.
This land is filled with Jamocha milkshakes and Nalgene bottles filled to the top with Whipped Cream. But the only problem is everything is untouchable. You can't touch anything. Not because it's forbidden, but because it's not REAL. *Censored* hated that. He despised the fact that the whipped cream Nalgene bottles taunted him and that the Jamocha's were prespiring.
A fairy of light came to him while he was resting in the shade of a old waterfall. "Pick up your belongings and come with me!" she declared in a booming voice. *Censored* listened and went with her. She led him into a far away place where pickles rained down from the trees and where Nintendo 64's were set up to gigantic big screens of butterflies. The air smelled of chopped metal and the ground was soft like melted computer mice. She led him into a dark valley where she mugged him and took fitty bucks from his wallet.
*Censored* felt like a total sucker for falling for that old trick. It's the oldest trick in the book. Fairy comes up to you and leads you into a far away land only to take your money. Happens all the time. At least it does in Graceland. Graceland has 50 times the national average of the United States in attacks in dark alleyways. Trust me, I'm a doctor.
When all was said and done *censored* made his way out of the weird worlds and back into his own house so he could lick stamps. Remember this story everytime you cross the international dateline.
The End.