as the wind blows...

[jessc]

there was a moment this week were i was terrified. one solitary moment where the world stopped and i could not figure out what to do. one fleeting second where my total freedom was unsettling.

but every other minute of this week has been so perfect.

i wake up each morning knowing that i have less than fifty days left in a classroom... less than fifty, forever, if i so choose. and then i get to go out into the world and figure out how i am going to make my mark.

i can go anywhere. i can do anything. i can be anyone.

there is nothing, and no one to hold me back or make my decision any harder. i can make this one very important decision solely for me. i can move to india or china or back home to colorado. i can take whatever step out into the unknown i want. and i can do it without a second of hesitation.

my god, it is the best feeling ever!

i think i was always meant to find this sort of freedom. it feels so wonderful to know that i have managed to make it to a place where i totally belong.

a place where i am finally feeling like a confident practitioner. a place where i think i could possibly find time to write and to practice. a place where i can do both things i love and feel completely comfortable in my skin.

....ahh!