on my spare time I look up science jokes and such

Dec 02, 2006 00:35

except not really just on my spare time. at times when i should be doing something i dont want to be doing like say...studying!

anyway, i hope you enjoy this because its funny

"I will now tell you the story of the greatest pick-up line of all time.

In college I was in an enormous biology class, we’re talking like 600 people, that met in a huge auditorium. We were discussing genetics and height. I can’t remember what the point of the exercise was, but the professor had every one stand up. Then he had everyone who wasn’t at least a certain height sit down again. He started with “If you aren’t 4 feet or taller, sit down” (How would we ever know if they were standing?). It ended at 6’1“ for the girls and 6’6” for the guys.

I was the last guy standing and a couple of rows behind me was the last girl standing, who, besides being 6’1“, happened to be kinda cute. We smiled at each other, clearly the superior beings in the auditorium. As class was let out I walked up to her with a smile and said, ”How would you like to breed a super race?“ Inexplicably, she said, ”Sure“.

I had been expecting a dirty look, not a yes. In fact, I wasn’t really trying to ask her out. I just sometimes have a problem with NOT acting on the bizarre thoughts that pop into my head. I was once walking to class by myself when I saw a girl wearing one of those giant puffy shiny silver winter coats. I stopped her and said, ”Moon girl, were you followed from your ship?! It isn’t safe to talk here, follow me.“ She, surprisingly, did give me a dirty look, which amused me to no end.

The true power of the pick-up line is clear when you know that I was not trying to pick her up and we still ended up seeing each other for a few weeks."

the best part is really the moon girl thing.


I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my golgi body. My stroma is leaking all over the place. We can do it in the alpha or beta configuration, whichever you prefer. You whip me with your flagellum, tubulin subunits flying everywhere. We can make a mess as I’ve hired some lysosomes to clean up after. Please have a smooth endoplasmic reticulum but know that I like it rough, if you know what I mean. I also prefer my ribosomes bound…tight. Spin me round with your basal body and make sure it’s turgid. Pump me up and down your concentration gradient, letting the chemiosmosis take control. I can go both ways, just like an amphipathic phospholipid. Do you like aerobic respiration as much as I do?

Let me know if this makes you secrete.

[okay so if you really know what the terms mean the whole thing is like gibberish but you get the innuendos]

Sunshine, I can’t breathe without you. Did I mention I’m a plant?

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