Babble, Party of 1..
ya know, i have this remarkable ability to make anything and everything about me...even when im TRYING to focus/talk completely on someone else, whether it be in celebration, sadness, or just general interest, i still somehow find a way to make it, to some degree, about me. like if someone tells a story, instead of responding TO their story, i respond usually WITH a story that starts something along the lines of "oh i know, like this one time I..." and then i tell some comparable (or not. whatever.) story about myself.
there is no point to this journal...this is just something i really dislike about myself, always have. my family has always joked that everything is always all about me and while i know they mean it in a good-natured way, I've always wondered if this facet of my personality has caused me to be less of a friend to people than i intend to be. I am fortunate, however, to have great friends, the kind who understand that people have flaws and that just because I start talking about MY shitty day when they talk about THEIR shitty day does NOT mean that I dont care about what happened to them, or even that, to me, the conversation is ANY LESS about them. maybe it's just how i relate, maybe it's how i show support, i dont know.
in addition to my good fortune of having friends who know me well enough to see through the seeming self-centered-ness, i also have friends who beautifully and graciously teach me everyday how to be more selfless, more giving, less concerned with the "me" and more with the "we" and even more with the "you who i care for". and i try to learn from them...which is my conclusion, that THIS is what we're supposed to do: identify our own faults, and surround ourselves with good people who help us improve upon them while simultaneously, hopefully, lending something of ourselves to help them heal their own flaws. that's overly simplistic and idealistic of me. perhaps thats another flaw..haha whatever, one is enough for today.
ohhh the thinks we think when we're sick all week.