(no subject)
the weight of my despair crushes me. i wish i could find release. i just want to pass away. the only thing i am afraid of is failing again. i need to leave this earth. i need to go home. i just want to be set free of this earthly cage. this tattered, bruised, decrepit, enfeebled cage. i wish my time was now. people dont wish for cancer, but i do. it would simplify things. it would allow people to prepare for future grief. if i died of cancer, then no one would doubt where i go. i want to dwell with my mashiach. i cant do this anymore. i just cant.