what hurts the most, is being so close. and having so much to say. then watching you walk away.
never knowing. what could have been. not seeing that loving you. is what i was trying to do.
i cant even begin to tell you all how things have been... its been crazy to say the least. i have found myself doing things that i never thought i would have to do... i never thought i would do for that matter. i don't like it. don't worry though it's not anything too terrible.
keep looking over your shoulder
thinking you shouldn't have to
wondering if this could be why
everyone has always said the things they do...
i don't know where to go from here.
what has this become?
what am i doing??
how did i get here???
more importantly...
how do i get away from here?????
i know what i should do but i find myself doing the exact opposite.
i keep looking for comfort.
something or someone to run to.
when the fact of the matter is that the only one that i need has never left my side.
though it seems i have left his.
i know it hasn't gotten anywhere near the extreme that i feel it has but i can't
seem to explain it.
i know that things are never as bad as they seem and could always get worse but sometimes i cant help but wonder why.
why do i feel the way that i do???
numb to everything around me.
why can i not show anything to anyone???
no emotions, no expression, no pain, no tears.
it kills me inside to know that it doesn't bother me
that nothing gets to me.
that i could always be like this.
one day it would be nice to feel something... anything.
and that anyone and everyone could see it on my face...
that i can feel after all
that even after all these years i still have the ability to show it.
i don't think that day will ever come.
i wait impatiently.
anticipating the moment, the day when this one wish of mine will come true.
sadly i think it never will and i will be stuck here like this.
still me. stone cold and lost. knowing that there is pain but not being able to identify it with a feeling... only superficial wounds.
i cant even begin to tell you all how things have been... its been crazy to say the least. i have found myself doing things that i never thought i would have to do... i never thought i would do for that matter. i don't like it. don't worry though it's not anything too terrible.
keep looking over your shoulder
thinking you shouldn't have to
wondering if this could be why
everyone has always said the things they do...
i don't know where to go from here.
what has this become?
what am i doing??
how did i get here???
more importantly...
how do i get away from here?????
i know what i should do but i find myself doing the exact opposite.
i keep looking for comfort.
something or someone to run to.
when the fact of the matter is that the only one that i need has never left my side.
though it seems i have left his.
i know it hasn't gotten anywhere near the extreme that i feel it has but i can't
seem to explain it.
i know that things are never as bad as they seem and could always get worse but sometimes i cant help but wonder why.
why do i feel the way that i do???
numb to everything around me.
why can i not show anything to anyone???
no emotions, no expression, no pain, no tears.
it kills me inside to know that it doesn't bother me
that nothing gets to me.
that i could always be like this.
one day it would be nice to feel something... anything.
and that anyone and everyone could see it on my face...
that i can feel after all
that even after all these years i still have the ability to show it.
i don't think that day will ever come.
i wait impatiently.
anticipating the moment, the day when this one wish of mine will come true.
sadly i think it never will and i will be stuck here like this.
still me. stone cold and lost. knowing that there is pain but not being able to identify it with a feeling... only superficial wounds.