If An Illusion Is All I Have
Chapter 2: The Wounded Deer
Author: Jess_Who
Fandom: Ashes To Ashes
Pairings: Alex, Gene, CID, Molly, etc
Rating: 12 (Rating may change)
Disclaimer: Only a fan, not the owner.. :'(
Spoilers: None really. Set in 1982
Note: Beta'd by the wonderful Rantandrumour.
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Chapter 1: Post-It Notes
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Grabbing a tissue Alex wiped her mouth, but did not get up from her kneeling position in the toilet cubicle. Her stomach still felt unsettled, her mind still reeling from the shock of it all. The notes. The knife. The Blood. The hair. Molly.
She wanted to do this on her own. If her daughter was in this world too, then it was up to her to find her and find out why. Gene and CID in the mix would help, but selfishly she had wanted to be the one to save her daughter. To prove she was a good mum. Alex let out a strangled sob. She needed Molly to know she could be a good mum.
Knocking the toilet door open, Alex fought the dizzying rush creeping over from having stood too quickly. She pointedly ignored Gene, and leaned against a sink. God she was a mess, she berated herself as she turned on the cold tap. She cupped a handful of water in her hands and used it to wash the taste of bitterness from her mouth. The prompt refreshment of frigid water over her face was short lived and did nothing to relieve the raw sting of her eyes.
As Alex followed Gene into his office, all the inquisitive eyes that had immediately centralized on them, were banished as he closed the blinds. After a few minutes of a strained, but collective silence, Alex accepted the customary glass of whiskey and consumed the few mouthfuls of amber liquid in one go. She could feel him waiting. He had not come out with question after question, had not raised his voice at her, had not spoken a word.
Alex lent back into the visitors chair, tilting her head to inspect the black and white chess board that acted as a ceiling. "There are two more notes in my desk," she breathed "Bottom draw. I started getting them two days ago, one a day," She closed her eyes abruptly, still unable to look at him. "The one you saw," she said biting her lip "I thought she was safe, and then the note it had her name. She was supposed to be safe, if something had happened to her surely I would have got a message" Alex barked out a panicked laugh, thinking of the post-it notes.
"What the hell happened?" She asked finally looking at him, right into his eyes like he would know the answer "I don't know where she is. I am her mum and she needs me and I am not there." In seconds she had gone from toeing the line of hysterical laughter to letting out a piercing cry, suchlike a wounded deer.
He gathered her tightly in his arms, clutching her against him. Cradled her as though he could bring all her broken pieces together again and stop her from crying. He could not be sure he had ever heard a sound quite like it. It was an unequivocally soul shattering noise, that he believed would crumble the foundations of his heart.
Gene kept her in his embrace, taking the weight of her, long after her legs failed her. Only after her tears had subsided into hiccupping breaths, did he carry her out into CID "I'm taking the lady home. Under no circumstances are you to leave. I want two squad cars watching her flat." He stopped before he got to the double doors. "Shaz, there's two more notes in the bottom draw. You had better have something to tell me once she is settled, or I shall be playing snooker with your balls." he addressed the room before taking her away.
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Chapter 3: Keep Your Hands To Yourself