Sunshine
Author: Jess_Who
Fandom: Ashes To Ashes
Pairings: Gene/Alex
Rating: 12
Disclaimer: Only a fan, not the owner :'(
Spoilers: Series 1?
A/N: I had dreams stuck in my head all day and then spent the best part of the afternoon writing this in the library.
I think the Gene/Alex sequence at the end is part of her dream/hallucination, but I'm not totally sure. I'm not in anyway saying Evan murdered Alex, well not directly, more in a 'Sod off, Layton!.. Bang! I shot your god-daughter' kinda way. Anyway... I had fun writing this and I hope you like reading it.
....A2A...A2A....
The silence feels as though it is bleaching the room of life.
He is sunshine. All the colours around him fade so that he is the focus point.
It is cold, freezing in fact. His words coming out in a puff of mist which steal his words away.
He talks to her still and she does not think he has noticed she cannot hear him. She strains her ears, but in this void she has created only the silence rains supreme.
She takes two steps to the side, the ground rocking beneath her.
::
Dust dances in the stale air of the barge, unsettled as she falls back on the filthy mattress.
She can feel each metal rung under her. Her eyes twitch beneath heavy lids. She grips one-handedly at the blanket, blood swelling and trickling down her temple and into her hair line.
Every individual speck of dust that lands on her face feels like a pin prick. There is no fresh air to stop its descent.
The darkness behind her eyes becomes oppressive and her lashes flutter as she struggles against the weight of them. All she has to do is wake up.
The pain in her head is white hot, spreading and building in waves so intense her lungs rage against the force of it, but she cannot scream.
Her nail bite into her palm until even her own mind bails on her and her hand goes limp.
::
It continues to stuns her how the bullet can reverse back into the gun, before 'Bang!'
"Mummy!" Her daughters voice screaming for her, the terror and urgency lost as the words leave the painted red lip of the clown that haunts her.
The bullet spins faster and faster. Unstoppable.
"Alex!"
::
She is in her bed at home in 2008 with her plain white linen. She made it. She woke up.
The sheets are tucked tightly around her. Restricting her.
Her attention is captured by the bed dipping. "Eva-" but he is on her before she can say him name properly, pushing a pillow into her face.
Her own godfather silencing her screams. Suffocating her. She cannot fight, her arms trapped under her covers.
It is so cold even under all those layers.
"I'm sorry, Alex. I'm sorry.
There is not enough air. No room to fight for the lung-full that her organs burn for. Light headed. She cannot think.
"Sorry." Drifting. Floating. Burning.
"Evan?" Molly asks, her voice innocent, "What are you doing to Mummy?"
"Killing her, Scrap."
"Oh!" She tilts her head and smiles, "Can we have Pizza when you're done?"
The bed open and she is falling, watching Evan tuck the pillow under his arm as he and Molly watch her fall. Arms failing to find purchase, her legs kicking out pointlessly.
"That should do the trick." Came her godfathers voice. "Molls, do you want to die before or after the Pizza?"
"Oh. Before, before!" Her childish voice replied.
"Okay Scrap, but try not to scream so much this time."
::
She falls straight into his arms, shrieking wordlessly as her legs give way. Clutching at the lapels of his coat, desperately trying to find safety.
"Alex? Alex?"
Her weight is pulling them both down and so he pushes her back into the wall, his body supporting hers.
After being stuck in the cold for so long he is warm against her. He is the heat of life. However real that is here.
She needs him to take away the bite of dying.
He does not move when she pushes her mouth on his. Does not react to the insistent pressure, but it does not matter anyway because she still moans, still moulds her body into his.
They fit and it is surprisingly wonderful to know their bodies could be so perfect for each other.
The ice that had set deep in her heart melts and it is not beautiful until he pushes her away. His thumb brushing over her lips as he shakes his head, his eyes staring at her longingly.
He is the sunshine at the centre if her storm.
....A2A...A2A....