think I'll take another day and slowly watch it burn
There's never enough time anymore. When I'm on days, I have to be in the infirmary at 0600 hours. I've been assigned a special project collecting data on blood types from charts dating back ten years. I've thought about it until my brain hurts, and I can't come up with any logical reason why the top brass would need something like that. In my opinion, it's a completely useless assignment that's been pulled out of thin air to keep me so busy I don't have time for the special project Paige and I have been researching on our own. In the meantime, people are dying. We keep getting new SPCs in from bases all over the U.S., and I look at them and wonder, which one of you will turn up dead tomorrow, or next week?
It's a horrible way to live.
Some days, I build up so much stress that I find myself crying in the shower, where nobody but me can hear. I'm not a crier; I'm normally the type who will dig my nails into my palms until they bleed instead. But with the water pouring down around me, I sob until my throat aches and, for a few minutes anyway, I feel a little better.
Hector keeps telling me I look sad. I seriously think he does online searches to come up with funny stories to tell me that might make me smile. He's so sweet to me, and sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me that I can't seem to get interested in him the way he wants me to. I think it's time to give myself a stern talking to and adjust my attitude. No more pining for people who are uninterested or unavailable, Jess. Because when you do, you spend a lot of time lonely.
It's a horrible way to live.
Some days, I build up so much stress that I find myself crying in the shower, where nobody but me can hear. I'm not a crier; I'm normally the type who will dig my nails into my palms until they bleed instead. But with the water pouring down around me, I sob until my throat aches and, for a few minutes anyway, I feel a little better.
Hector keeps telling me I look sad. I seriously think he does online searches to come up with funny stories to tell me that might make me smile. He's so sweet to me, and sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me that I can't seem to get interested in him the way he wants me to. I think it's time to give myself a stern talking to and adjust my attitude. No more pining for people who are uninterested or unavailable, Jess. Because when you do, you spend a lot of time lonely.