(no subject)
Well, once again I'd like to thank everyone for the massive outcropping of emotional support. (And this time I can sort of mean it.) I'm doing....betterish. It helps to focus myself on the potentially wonderful change on the horizon. (The date's officially official now, even. My existence in Montana will come to an end on April 5.)
It's pathetic. It's completely pathetic. But....the IdiotSite kinda saved me. In my teenage years, I was quickly sinking into miserable loneliness. I'd pretty much given up on making friends with people. It's something I've been bad at....well, forever, and it just kept getting harder each years as my classmates got older, and of course much bitchier as a result. And then I found a bunch of people who had kinda sorta the same kind of sense of humour that I did, and it seemed a fun enough diversion.
I never would've expected that, five years later, I would've genuinely come to care about these people. There's Ray, who was really the first person to say, "Hey, Jesse, you need to come out of your shell, you're not a fucking turtle, although if you were an anthropomorphic one, that would be sort of cool". Or something like that. There's Kevin and Amanda, whose ability to be mature and yet still like "immature" things has actually had a deeply profound effect on me and my ability to actually enjoy things. There's Taylor, whose namby pamby liberal extremist insistence on loving oneself has trained me to....well, tolerate myself. Still a work in progress. And of course there's Jim, who has offered me the chance to step out into the world, finally live my life, have the close friend I haven't had since life decided to tear me away from Ryan. And I just....can't thank you people enough. I....I love you guys. Not in a gay way. In a "you're all really good friends and you've finally made life worth living" sort of way.
I'm not gonna lie, I'm scared. Really scared. But you've finally encouraged me to try. Somehow.....I'm gonna make it.
Good night!
It's pathetic. It's completely pathetic. But....the IdiotSite kinda saved me. In my teenage years, I was quickly sinking into miserable loneliness. I'd pretty much given up on making friends with people. It's something I've been bad at....well, forever, and it just kept getting harder each years as my classmates got older, and of course much bitchier as a result. And then I found a bunch of people who had kinda sorta the same kind of sense of humour that I did, and it seemed a fun enough diversion.
I never would've expected that, five years later, I would've genuinely come to care about these people. There's Ray, who was really the first person to say, "Hey, Jesse, you need to come out of your shell, you're not a fucking turtle, although if you were an anthropomorphic one, that would be sort of cool". Or something like that. There's Kevin and Amanda, whose ability to be mature and yet still like "immature" things has actually had a deeply profound effect on me and my ability to actually enjoy things. There's Taylor, whose namby pamby liberal extremist insistence on loving oneself has trained me to....well, tolerate myself. Still a work in progress. And of course there's Jim, who has offered me the chance to step out into the world, finally live my life, have the close friend I haven't had since life decided to tear me away from Ryan. And I just....can't thank you people enough. I....I love you guys. Not in a gay way. In a "you're all really good friends and you've finally made life worth living" sort of way.
I'm not gonna lie, I'm scared. Really scared. But you've finally encouraged me to try. Somehow.....I'm gonna make it.
Good night!