Here we go...
Well, it's been a little while since I had an actual update...so here goes.
I'm still adjusting to being back in school. It's just so odd after spending all my time at home. It still freaks me out. I mean, I like to learn things in school, and I like to be around people...but it's when I leave that it's a problem. It's like, thinking about the work that I've been given, and that I HAVE to do it.. sends my anxiety level up to the danger zone.
See, throughout my middle school through high school career...I never did any homework. I didn't study for exams, not even ones that count for 10% of my final grade. But this is different. I'm taking elective classes, so that I have enough credits to be a senior. Like, classes that are required for me to graduate. So, if I don't pass, and I don't get these grades..I'm fucked. I'll have to go to summer school..which I REALLY don't want.
Everyone keeps telling me "Think about today, think about now..not the future." But I can't. I'm such a "what if" person. It's like I look at what's going on now and I just think. I swear to God, my brain is my worst enemy sometimes. I just go, and go, and go with my thoughts. It's so frustrating. Sometimes it takes me hours to fall asleep because my mind won't shut down.
I don't know. I got these pills that are.. more or less for anxiety attacks. I don't know how long they're supposed to last. I took one 3 hours ago.. but I'm back to freaking out inside. It's so frustrating because.. I feel so stupid and helpless. I swear to God, when I get old I'm never gonna wanna take any pills for anything.
I just, hope that I can do this.
I'm still adjusting to being back in school. It's just so odd after spending all my time at home. It still freaks me out. I mean, I like to learn things in school, and I like to be around people...but it's when I leave that it's a problem. It's like, thinking about the work that I've been given, and that I HAVE to do it.. sends my anxiety level up to the danger zone.
See, throughout my middle school through high school career...I never did any homework. I didn't study for exams, not even ones that count for 10% of my final grade. But this is different. I'm taking elective classes, so that I have enough credits to be a senior. Like, classes that are required for me to graduate. So, if I don't pass, and I don't get these grades..I'm fucked. I'll have to go to summer school..which I REALLY don't want.
Everyone keeps telling me "Think about today, think about now..not the future." But I can't. I'm such a "what if" person. It's like I look at what's going on now and I just think. I swear to God, my brain is my worst enemy sometimes. I just go, and go, and go with my thoughts. It's so frustrating. Sometimes it takes me hours to fall asleep because my mind won't shut down.
I don't know. I got these pills that are.. more or less for anxiety attacks. I don't know how long they're supposed to last. I took one 3 hours ago.. but I'm back to freaking out inside. It's so frustrating because.. I feel so stupid and helpless. I swear to God, when I get old I'm never gonna wanna take any pills for anything.
I just, hope that I can do this.