(no subject)
I think I’m going to start calling these types of posts “honesty posts” and I’ll start doing them a little more regularly. Here’s the short version of why. I bottle up a lot of thoughts and feelings that I rarely, if ever, let out and it’s coming to a point where I need to let them out. However, I’m entirely too nice to do so to your face, so I’ll do it here without mentioning your name and calling you out directly. If you can figure out if something is directed toward you, so be it, but I’m not telling who it’s about unless you correctly ask me if it’s about you. Also, it won’t always be bad stuff. Sometimes there’s good stuff that I can’t really say to your face either. So here goes.
Person #1 - Quit being a selfish idiot. I don’t care about you. Well, obviously that’s not completely true since you being an idiot is bothering me enough for me to say something here, but that’s not exactly what I mean. What I mean is that you being stupid has gotten under my skin enough that I do care, but not because I care about YOU. I care because of the way what you do has an affect on those I actually DO care about. That makes more sense. So at any rate, I’m asking you to stop and think about what you do before you do it. Would you really want someone else to do that to you? Honestly? The answer is that they probably have done it to you and you didn’t like it, but because someone else did it to you, you think it’s ok for you to do it to others. The real answer is that it’s not ok even if someone else did it to you first.
Person #2 - No one really cares what you’re doing. You’re a grown adult who should be able to make their own decisions. Whether or not they’re good decisions is up for debate at this point but that isn’t what I’m trying to get at. You don’t need to have the approval, or know someone doesn’t approve, of anything you do. You are your own person and I wish you’d stop acting like an ass and start acting like a human being who has faults. I will readily admit that I have faults and sometimes I’ll even tell you what they are. I’m not saying I’m better than you, well actually I kinda, sorta am but anyhow, but just grow the heck up. Really. You have more responsibilities in your life at this moment than I may ever have in my life and you don’t own up to a single one of them. You shrug them off onto other people until you’re ready to be responsible for all of 5 minutes before you pass them off again. That is not being an adult as you claim you are. That’s being selfish and inconsiderate and in the long run it’s going to screw with people’s minds and when they figure out what you’re doing, as I have, they are going to be pissed and hopefully they’ll tell you that you’ve made them mad.
Person #3 - I don’t even know what to say to you sometimes. Everything I want to say makes perfect sense in my head and then I try to talk and none of it comes out making any sense at all. I hate that. I want to be able to tell you everything and have it make sense. As much as I’m myself to you, there’s so much more that you don’t know, that you haven’t seen yet and that sort of scares me. I think it scares me because I’m not entirely sure who I am anymore. I’ve been through so much in the last few years that I’m not the same person I used to be, even if those closest to me wish I was. I never will be that same person either. I’m not as naive or trusting. I’m not as wimpy as I used to be. I’m not a lot of things anymore. But, in my opinion, those things that I’m not have been replaced by some pretty great things that I am.