(no subject)
Trial and error? C'est possible.
With matters like this, I don't know if there is ever a good time, a bad time or a time at all to learn your lesson. Because every time you think you do, you are just waiting to realize that you haven't. And every thing you think you learn doesn't become a lesson, but merely a caution which is probably the worst direction for it to go. It becomes this ugly staple that you have to live with and apply to every future situation of the like kind. And you find yourself mindlessly going through the same course of events, which are presupposed from the moment you get into the situation. And you wonder if your flawed or simply damned. And you hate it and push it away, simply because that's just easier. And maybe that's the flaw, maybe that's my flaw. You make judgements on people in the first 20 seconds into meeting them, and usually hope they'll prove you wrong. As if your judgement is just an obstacle, you begin to resent that. And reason takes a back seat. But it's not even your heart that gets behind the wheel, it's something else. What? I don't fucking know. I just don't fucking know.
And that's that I guess.