why me?!?!?!?
I have never been more upset in my whole entire life. First of all, this last week of school has been REALLY stressful. I stayed up until about 5 0'clock in the morning this morning....studying! Now I'm starting to wonder about this whole "making new friends" thing online.
I use to think it was this great way to get to meet new people from all over the world, and I admit I have met some of my closest friends from the internet...but now....so many bad things have happened between me and some people that I just wish I had never started chatting with people that I didn't even know to begin with. I have always had special bonds between me and my friends that I got to meet and stuff, but as you all know things have a tendency to change in our lives. So it's like...they say things to me that they "supposedly" mean, and then it's like "oh sorry, I never really meant that because something else came up in my life" I'm just tired of feeling like I'm just here for people "only" when other people aren't supposedly "available" to them at the current moment, and then when something suddenly comes up for them again, it changes everything and they can just forget that you exist and toss you aside like it's nothing. I know I shouldn't be making such a big deal out of this because I don't even know these people "personally"... yet, but you don't say stuff to people that you don't mean because in the end that could really hurt them. All I'm saying is that i'm really tired of feeling like a ragdoll... that is only here for people to use at their convenience. I'm tired of things changing!!!! Why can't things just stay the same, because i've noticed when things do change I'm the one that ends up getting hurt. I'm the one that tends to be forgotten and it just hurts me because I thought they actually cared for me. OK, enough on that subject I guess. I feel bad enough as it is...
AND NOW....on to the "GOOD NEWS":
Becky came to help my mom clean today, and she told me that she knew of someone up in Asheville that gives belly dancing lessons!!!! I would die if I could get into that^_~ I've decided that I really want to work at the Carolina Renaissance Festival!!!!
I use to think it was this great way to get to meet new people from all over the world, and I admit I have met some of my closest friends from the internet...but now....so many bad things have happened between me and some people that I just wish I had never started chatting with people that I didn't even know to begin with. I have always had special bonds between me and my friends that I got to meet and stuff, but as you all know things have a tendency to change in our lives. So it's like...they say things to me that they "supposedly" mean, and then it's like "oh sorry, I never really meant that because something else came up in my life" I'm just tired of feeling like I'm just here for people "only" when other people aren't supposedly "available" to them at the current moment, and then when something suddenly comes up for them again, it changes everything and they can just forget that you exist and toss you aside like it's nothing. I know I shouldn't be making such a big deal out of this because I don't even know these people "personally"... yet, but you don't say stuff to people that you don't mean because in the end that could really hurt them. All I'm saying is that i'm really tired of feeling like a ragdoll... that is only here for people to use at their convenience. I'm tired of things changing!!!! Why can't things just stay the same, because i've noticed when things do change I'm the one that ends up getting hurt. I'm the one that tends to be forgotten and it just hurts me because I thought they actually cared for me. OK, enough on that subject I guess. I feel bad enough as it is...
AND NOW....on to the "GOOD NEWS":
Becky came to help my mom clean today, and she told me that she knew of someone up in Asheville that gives belly dancing lessons!!!! I would die if I could get into that^_~ I've decided that I really want to work at the Carolina Renaissance Festival!!!!