(no subject)
I have not updated in forever, why you ask? It could be the fact that grad. school has absolutely robbed me of any free time... or it could be the fact that I was not really to confront how things are actually going, or let people know that I am struggling. My nurse/nutritionist has been strongly suggesting Intensive inpatient or Intensive outpatient care. I on the other hand do not agree, nor feel like it would be beneficial to spend a large amount of time soley focusing on my ed. (yes, I have fully accepted that I do have an ed). Thus, I have suggested to both Adrienne and Cindy (my nurse/nutritionist) that I attend a support group in addition to weekly therapy appointments and weekly appointments with Cindy. As they are both very concerned, especially since I've had disappointing weigh-ins, and ketone testing. At one point I had to have blood tets to test my electrolytes, because I was having a shitty time. So the support group is in the works, which I'm a tad bit nervous about but we shall see. I have not hit my lowest weight since around July-ish... So that is good, but of course the weight isn't all telling about the condition of my body as there are many other factors that are bad. I've learned a lot recently. I'm on a meal type plan, which Cindy has been awesome about because she is really trying to work with me, and what I am comfortable with and slowly adding stuff in. I questioned what my ideal weight would be, and I was told that with my height would be 120. But since that is most likely impossible, I was told maintaining around 110 eating nutritiously would be most ideal. So oy that is where we are going, but I do know that mentally I'm not ready for those thoughts, so eventually I will be in that place.