Depression reeks
I feel heavy. My boyfriend and I almost broke up last night... I am not kidding when i said almost... I'm talking we were this far away... <-> it was bad... and the threat is still there for today at least... he pissed me off REALLY REALLY bad... and those who have seen me in action know how i get when i get pissed... drama queen comes NOWHERE near the correct term... buuuuuut even though he pisses me off like there is no tommorrow.... I love him. He says i get upset over the smallest things, but the smallest things are the things that SHOULDN'T be happening... therefore they are big things... big things aren't as bad as small things because people make BIG mistakes... i dunno. part of me just wants to pack my shit up and just go and not look back... but i dunno if i have the strength for that... love is such a difficult emotion (believe it or not) because you can love a person and argue and actually just want to give up. but the second you see that person again you just want to break down and cry on their shoulder and hear that they love you and never wnat to leave them... i just don't know what to do.... i called him last night and told him i thought we should take a break... (ya'll don't know just how bad he pissed me off... im not even one hundred percent sure why i just know that i needed him and he blew me off for his friends and alcohol... and well i dunno i dont drink anymore so i dont really fit into that crowd... his best friend treats me like shit... and they are always around... it's like when those two are together they get off on treating us (the girlfriends) like their "bitches" and not the girls they say they love.... we've been together for 6 months and it's not all bad... when things are good i'm so unbelievably happya nd he treats me sooo good... but it's the bad times that i just sink... but somehow, when it's all said and done... i love him more... i don't know... i just know that i am at work and didn't get to bed until 3 in the morning last night (crying) and had to wake up 2 hours later... i freakin tired... i just want to call him and just talk to him and i dunno just hear him and make up i m gonna go crazy... anywya i gotta go up to the ward they just called.. peace out man.