(no subject)
Things aren't complicated, but they sure feel like it. Don't get me wrong, things are going fairly well, despite my natural talent for making stupid mistakes and bad decisions, but I can't deny that there's something missing.
It's no secret that I'm single and have been for some time now-I'm even surprised to find that it's been nearly two year-and that I'd like to find someone to be with. The thing that I haven't really told anyone is that there's someone that I have been placing hope upon hope of having a chance with. Sure, I've mentioned other girls who have caught my eye, who I wanted to ask out and see if maybe they were the right one for me, but I've come to realize that every last one of them would have been a second choice. Every one I considered, I thought of how I wouldn't be single if I were ever to get the chance I had been hoping for.
It's embarrassing to admit, not only because my actions were-and I fear still are-silly and childish, but also because I know that she reads this journal, at least sometimes. I've long wanted to write this entry, only to find myself fumbling with the words and ideas, growing frustrated with my inability to express what I thought and felt just as I have long wanted to have the courage to tell her just what I feel for her.
I guess my dilemma is this: Should I tell the friend who I cherish most that nothing could make me happier than for us to be at each other's side? Sounds like stupid, melodramatic bullshit, I know, but it's true. I'm sure I'll tell her some day... I just hope that by the time I've worked up the courage it's not too late.
It's no secret that I'm single and have been for some time now-I'm even surprised to find that it's been nearly two year-and that I'd like to find someone to be with. The thing that I haven't really told anyone is that there's someone that I have been placing hope upon hope of having a chance with. Sure, I've mentioned other girls who have caught my eye, who I wanted to ask out and see if maybe they were the right one for me, but I've come to realize that every last one of them would have been a second choice. Every one I considered, I thought of how I wouldn't be single if I were ever to get the chance I had been hoping for.
It's embarrassing to admit, not only because my actions were-and I fear still are-silly and childish, but also because I know that she reads this journal, at least sometimes. I've long wanted to write this entry, only to find myself fumbling with the words and ideas, growing frustrated with my inability to express what I thought and felt just as I have long wanted to have the courage to tell her just what I feel for her.
I guess my dilemma is this: Should I tell the friend who I cherish most that nothing could make me happier than for us to be at each other's side? Sounds like stupid, melodramatic bullshit, I know, but it's true. I'm sure I'll tell her some day... I just hope that by the time I've worked up the courage it's not too late.