jacob, it's okay....

[jeska_kisses_xo]

this morning i laid in bed for twenty mintues, wondering if i should go to church.
sure, i always want to go. but i was tired... 
but i got up anyways, and i dont think i could have made a better decision.

we watched the invisible children video, which i had never seen. i'm not going to lie, i'm a sucker for these sorts of things, but i've never felt such a pull inside of me. i was crying, and i was going through these thoughts and ideas in my head, arguing about what i could do to make a difference, thinking of what i could give up to help. the situation is beyond belief.
the children could have ripped my heart out. i suddenly had the urge to be there.
these voices raced through my mind--i could go the summer after freshman year. actually, the idea of me not going to school passed me a few times, but my mom wouldn't have that. and besides, i have to get the money for travel and doctor's bills somewhere. but i will go there.
and i will do something about what's going on.

i've only ever felt this rush once before, and that was in new orleans. 
i'm sensing a pattern.... and it lights me up. i feel like someone has struck a match, and lit a flame within me.
it's beautiful.