Damn this is funny, even if I stole it !!!!
Amusing
WHY GAY MARRIAGE SHOULD BE ILLEGAL:
1.Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and
birth control.
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid becasue they produce children.
Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the
world needs more children.
3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
parents only raise straight children.
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is
allowed, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is
illegal.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because
the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically
protected the rights of the minorities.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours,
the values of one religion are imposed on the entire counrty. That's
why we have only one religion in America.
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
hanging around tall people will make you tall.
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal
standing and can sign a marriage contract.
10. Children can never suceed without a male and a female role model at
home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual
marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new
social norms because we haven't adapted to things like cars or longer
lifespans.
12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with
a different name are better, because a "seperate but equal" institution
is always constitutional. Seperate schools for African-Americans worked
just as well as seperate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
WHY GAY MARRIAGE SHOULD BE ILLEGAL:
1.Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and
birth control.
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid becasue they produce children.
Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the
world needs more children.
3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
parents only raise straight children.
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is
allowed, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is
illegal.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because
the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically
protected the rights of the minorities.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours,
the values of one religion are imposed on the entire counrty. That's
why we have only one religion in America.
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
hanging around tall people will make you tall.
9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal
standing and can sign a marriage contract.
10. Children can never suceed without a male and a female role model at
home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual
marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new
social norms because we haven't adapted to things like cars or longer
lifespans.
12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with
a different name are better, because a "seperate but equal" institution
is always constitutional. Seperate schools for African-Americans worked
just as well as seperate marriages for gays and lesbians will.