i think. therefor i am confused.
i am very conflicted these days.
i am not healthy, and i know that. i need to eat, sleep, calm, exercise, work, and talk better.
but i'm afraid to.
pain and sorrow and depression... it's the place in this world that i feel the most comfortable.
i wrap it around me like a warm blanket... burrow my head inside and hide from all else. it's familiarity is what is comforting. the poor me attitude almost blissfull in it's ease.
i dislike having to work for my emotions and my natural responses. i find breaking old and making new habits to leave a bitter taste. it's not that i don't like hard work or change... wrong me not.
i just don't like pain.
and becoming more healthy in my responses hurts more than the familiar sorrow.
i am not healthy, and i know that. i need to eat, sleep, calm, exercise, work, and talk better.
but i'm afraid to.
pain and sorrow and depression... it's the place in this world that i feel the most comfortable.
i wrap it around me like a warm blanket... burrow my head inside and hide from all else. it's familiarity is what is comforting. the poor me attitude almost blissfull in it's ease.
i dislike having to work for my emotions and my natural responses. i find breaking old and making new habits to leave a bitter taste. it's not that i don't like hard work or change... wrong me not.
i just don't like pain.
and becoming more healthy in my responses hurts more than the familiar sorrow.