already?
it happened.
i wasn't expecting it for at least another month or so.
it snuck up on me.
i tried to go to sleep tonight... but it just didn't work. my heart just wasnt' in it.
my head was just screaming at me over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over,
"what the hell are you thinking?!"
this is absolutely nucking-futs. i'm 20freakin'4! what in the hells am i doing at college?! again!
even worse! i'm living on campus! in the dorms! surrounded by freshmen.. most of whom are teenyboppers and airheads!
what the hell was i thinking?!
i hate living alone. with a passion.
no, that's wrong. i don't hate it. i'm terrified of it.
made even worse by knowing that i have the most wonderful man back at home... waiting for me in a big ol' empty bed.
and even that's not it completely. really, i just can't sleep alone. not after knowing what it's like to sleep wrapped up in the arms of the one you love. not after experiencing sleeping next to someone and knowing that, should you need/want to, you can grab his arm and pull it around you and he'll just snuggle up and hold you. and, especially not after waking up alone and desperately needing him to be there to make it all better.
so, that's why i'm awake at 3:30 in the morning.
i'm too damn scared to sleep.
i wasn't expecting it for at least another month or so.
it snuck up on me.
i tried to go to sleep tonight... but it just didn't work. my heart just wasnt' in it.
my head was just screaming at me over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over,
"what the hell are you thinking?!"
this is absolutely nucking-futs. i'm 20freakin'4! what in the hells am i doing at college?! again!
even worse! i'm living on campus! in the dorms! surrounded by freshmen.. most of whom are teenyboppers and airheads!
what the hell was i thinking?!
i hate living alone. with a passion.
no, that's wrong. i don't hate it. i'm terrified of it.
made even worse by knowing that i have the most wonderful man back at home... waiting for me in a big ol' empty bed.
and even that's not it completely. really, i just can't sleep alone. not after knowing what it's like to sleep wrapped up in the arms of the one you love. not after experiencing sleeping next to someone and knowing that, should you need/want to, you can grab his arm and pull it around you and he'll just snuggle up and hold you. and, especially not after waking up alone and desperately needing him to be there to make it all better.
so, that's why i'm awake at 3:30 in the morning.
i'm too damn scared to sleep.