in 2 days itll be a year, i didnt know how else to express my feelings
Dear Nikki-
Its been almost a year since you left me. I can’t believe that a year ago at this time you were still here on this earth with me and talking to me online. Just to think a year ago at this time I could have asked you if everything was alright and maybe if I would have let you lean on me, maybe well you know. I miss you. I hope you know that. I think about you all the time. I hope you know that too. I just read a poem that Danielle wrote about you, it was good. I wanted to write a poem about you but I didn’t know what to write. I feel bad because I’m Crying right now and if people were to see me they would be sad for me, I don’t want them to be sad for me, I want them to know how great you were. I want them all to know that every time you came around anyone you put a smile on there face despite what was going on around you. I want them all to know that you would go out of your way to do nice things for all your friends for no reason at all. Remember that time we went and bought Korine that lotion and stuff from bath and body just because she liked the smell of it? And how we would always hang out at work when we didn’t have to. You through me an awesome birthday party and invited everyone and we had such a good time. I remember your birthday this year, you would have been 17. I cant believe your not here anymore. I still feel you, I think that when I go home I am going to see you but when I don’t I just think your in Medina again or something. I remember your wake, and all the kids there crying for you. Maybe this is bad of me but I was soo pissed off at them, I wanted to look at them and ask them where they were when you really needed them. And at your funeral service, I just wanted to stand up and tell everyone how amazing my best friend was! Instead of listening to them mumble. It felt like they didn’t even know you! I knew you, you were hurting inside and sad and lonely but despite all that you were always making sure we, your friends, were ok. I remember your burial, It was raining, like heaven was crying or something. I remember the flower I held in my hand, I remember walking by your casket and laying down the flower and saying goodbye to you. I remember seeing you in your casket and thinking that this cannot possibly be you. Your step mom hugged me and told me that you would have wanted me to be there, that she was glad I was there. I wish I could have helped you more, I wish I could have been there, I wish I could have told you how much god loved you and there is always hope out there, I want to get you help and I want to hold your hand and I want to make things ok but I cant do that anymore, I’m to late. More than anything I wish I could send you this letter and have you read what I really feel but even if I did send this letter you wouldn’t get it. I just want you to know how incredibly sorry I am and how much I will always always always think about you. You were my best friend. You were like my little sister, I love you! I want to end this letter in I hope everything is going well for you, or I hope you are ok. But I guess that is a little silly. So im going to end it with this: I love you, your amazing, your beautiful, your kind, your giving, you didn’t deserve to be treated the way people treated you, and you have changed my life forever. You taught me so many lessons that I will never forget! I LOVE YOU NIKKI…
I miss you!
Love,
jes
Its been almost a year since you left me. I can’t believe that a year ago at this time you were still here on this earth with me and talking to me online. Just to think a year ago at this time I could have asked you if everything was alright and maybe if I would have let you lean on me, maybe well you know. I miss you. I hope you know that. I think about you all the time. I hope you know that too. I just read a poem that Danielle wrote about you, it was good. I wanted to write a poem about you but I didn’t know what to write. I feel bad because I’m Crying right now and if people were to see me they would be sad for me, I don’t want them to be sad for me, I want them to know how great you were. I want them all to know that every time you came around anyone you put a smile on there face despite what was going on around you. I want them all to know that you would go out of your way to do nice things for all your friends for no reason at all. Remember that time we went and bought Korine that lotion and stuff from bath and body just because she liked the smell of it? And how we would always hang out at work when we didn’t have to. You through me an awesome birthday party and invited everyone and we had such a good time. I remember your birthday this year, you would have been 17. I cant believe your not here anymore. I still feel you, I think that when I go home I am going to see you but when I don’t I just think your in Medina again or something. I remember your wake, and all the kids there crying for you. Maybe this is bad of me but I was soo pissed off at them, I wanted to look at them and ask them where they were when you really needed them. And at your funeral service, I just wanted to stand up and tell everyone how amazing my best friend was! Instead of listening to them mumble. It felt like they didn’t even know you! I knew you, you were hurting inside and sad and lonely but despite all that you were always making sure we, your friends, were ok. I remember your burial, It was raining, like heaven was crying or something. I remember the flower I held in my hand, I remember walking by your casket and laying down the flower and saying goodbye to you. I remember seeing you in your casket and thinking that this cannot possibly be you. Your step mom hugged me and told me that you would have wanted me to be there, that she was glad I was there. I wish I could have helped you more, I wish I could have been there, I wish I could have told you how much god loved you and there is always hope out there, I want to get you help and I want to hold your hand and I want to make things ok but I cant do that anymore, I’m to late. More than anything I wish I could send you this letter and have you read what I really feel but even if I did send this letter you wouldn’t get it. I just want you to know how incredibly sorry I am and how much I will always always always think about you. You were my best friend. You were like my little sister, I love you! I want to end this letter in I hope everything is going well for you, or I hope you are ok. But I guess that is a little silly. So im going to end it with this: I love you, your amazing, your beautiful, your kind, your giving, you didn’t deserve to be treated the way people treated you, and you have changed my life forever. You taught me so many lessons that I will never forget! I LOVE YOU NIKKI…
I miss you!
Love,
jes