::: sigh :::
In the not too distant past I developed a fear of dying. I have a chronic health condition and I was so happy with my young family and our house and this new way if life I feared it all ending in an instant due to illness or complications. I also feared dying for what might become of my daughter, who has special needs, since I am her primary caregiver.
After the events of these past 3 weeks, I no longer fear dying. (In fact, I say bring it on!) Two and a half weeks of a special needs child sick with a particularly long-winded flu, a big huge autistic fit thrown all night by aforementioned sick child on a night before I had to work, and now a sudden intolerance to perfumes and dyes causing a skin rash (and causing me to have to re-launder every scrap of laundry and bedding my child comes into contact with) has really taken its toll.
I need a vacation. Calgon take me away. Holy crap. At least I have one little corner of the interwebs I can broadcast my dismay.
I need some rest and some "me" time. A little rejuvenation. Some quiet time to meditate. Then I'll be ok. I'm always ok, no matter how stretched thin my soul becomes during times of trial (which, btw, I've grown suspicious I've had far more than my fair share of over these years)..
Suffering and reprieve. Waiting for the reprieve. At least there are some really nice parts of life that make it bearable no matter what happens (i.e. my fiancé, my salon).
Life can sure suck ass sometimes. I hope things get back to normal soon! Usually, believe it or not, life does NOT suck ass. ;)
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