it doesn't have to be perfect like a movie scene....
So.
I'm sitting here and i just realized.
I'm so happy.
She gets me.
You know?
Like totally.
Completely.
And contrary to what you have or perhaps have heard.
She is everything I have wanted.
Will ever want.
We have our issues.
Like any couple.
But I truly truly truly wish that everyone i love...or have ever loved will find their other half like i have.
Someone you see a life with, someone you can come home to every night and it just feels so right.
I miss smoking weed...ocassionally.
I don't want to do it all the time.
I never want to get back to the point where i NEED to get high.
Man, there is so much more to life.
I realize in those days...we never really DID anything.
I was like a rock...never moving.
Just there.
Now...I Live.
Just socially...in the right situation.
I wouldn't mind a toke or two.
But! We are working on that.
Every couple has their dissagreements.
But I have learned it is all about discussion and understanding both sides.
I miss Shannon and James.
But...I don't really know how to bridge that gap.
I miss their friendship so much it really brings tears to my eyes to think about.
Knowing James was like knowing someone was always there for you, like a brother.
With Shannon, she was someone i could just tell anything to and not feel stupid about it.
I truly loved that guy and gal. I still do.
Still would be their in a seond if either of them ever needed me.
I miss laughing with them, partying with them, just being around them.
I think about how after my accident they were there at the hospital every day.
I'm so thankful for that.
I will NEVER forget that.
I just feel so seperated now.
I can call Sandy anytime...even though she is a million miles away we always pick right back up where we left off.
Same with Amanda.
But when i have the urge to call shannon or james....I don't really know what to say. I feel at a loss.
I'm so truly happy with Heather...its not that.
But in life do our gains always have to come with loss as well?
I guess life teaches us these things as we grow.
As for Derek.
For so long we were like inseperable.
Now...I feel there is just so much hurt there...I don't know how to ever go back.
Or if I want to.
Or even so...if he would.
Wounds heal but scars remain as a reminder of what you once felt.
I don't know where to beging with that one.
On a happier note.
Saw our new Apartment on Sunday.
Very Nice.
300 bucks a month everything included is a cinch.
AAAANDD.
She is getting me a puppy in april :).
I'm naming him Romo.
YES. I'm THAT gay.
I feel I have blabbered for far too long.
I'm going to go do laundry.
Love to all.
Marissa.