if i wrote you a love note
I'm sick.
and all by myself because my parents are out of town until tuesday.
i'm not sure if anyone is going to stay with me at all.
i kinda just want to be alone anyway.
i don't know whats going on with kelly.
i'm not even gonna try anymore.
i tried everything, and all i get is mixed signals.
so i'll just back the fuck off.
if she wants to call me, she can.
if not, then i'll just have to get the fuck over it.
i don't understand girls that play games.
i mean all the signs were there that she liked me.
then she started acting kinda sketch.
i mean, shit, i can take it.
if you want to just be friends.
just fucking say it.
i wish i could be an asshole.
but i can't.
I wish i could treat someone like they were nothing but i can't.
Yeah, i had feelings for kelly.
I'm pretty sure i made that clear.
And yeah, i do know we talked about keeping it casual.
but shit, i mean i need a little bit of something.
I mean, i tell you that you look nice.
I tell you that your beautiful.
That i think you have a great personality.
Not because i feel like i have to, or that i should.
But simply because thats how i treat a girl im interested in.
So why is it so hard for you to tell me what your feeling?
i know what its like to be treated this way, i don't need a repeat performance.
i sure as hell know what it feels like to feel like NOTHING you do is right.
If i call, im wrong.
If i don't call, im wrong.
If i'm nonchalant, im wrong.
If i'm clingy, im wrong.
what the fuck do you want from me?
and the bottle still sits on my dresser.
it stares at me like a fucking demon from my past.
i feel like i need them there just in case.
in case it just gets too fucking hard.
its getting so fucking hard.
because honestly, i'm dealing with getting over her.
so why am i still so unhappy?
if i'm getting past all that.
when am i gonna feel okay about me?
when am i gonna love me?
why can't i listen to what all my friends say?
that i am a good person.
that i am their best friend.
why, why the fuck do i still feel so god damn worthless?
i just ate and i feel like throwing it all up.
i feel like shit.
i feel like i'll never get to that point.
that point where everything just falls into place for me.
i'm hoping someone will stay with me this weekend.
as much as i say i want to be alone...
i know i don't need it.
i scare myself when i'm alone.
and all by myself because my parents are out of town until tuesday.
i'm not sure if anyone is going to stay with me at all.
i kinda just want to be alone anyway.
i don't know whats going on with kelly.
i'm not even gonna try anymore.
i tried everything, and all i get is mixed signals.
so i'll just back the fuck off.
if she wants to call me, she can.
if not, then i'll just have to get the fuck over it.
i don't understand girls that play games.
i mean all the signs were there that she liked me.
then she started acting kinda sketch.
i mean, shit, i can take it.
if you want to just be friends.
just fucking say it.
i wish i could be an asshole.
but i can't.
I wish i could treat someone like they were nothing but i can't.
Yeah, i had feelings for kelly.
I'm pretty sure i made that clear.
And yeah, i do know we talked about keeping it casual.
but shit, i mean i need a little bit of something.
I mean, i tell you that you look nice.
I tell you that your beautiful.
That i think you have a great personality.
Not because i feel like i have to, or that i should.
But simply because thats how i treat a girl im interested in.
So why is it so hard for you to tell me what your feeling?
i know what its like to be treated this way, i don't need a repeat performance.
i sure as hell know what it feels like to feel like NOTHING you do is right.
If i call, im wrong.
If i don't call, im wrong.
If i'm nonchalant, im wrong.
If i'm clingy, im wrong.
what the fuck do you want from me?
and the bottle still sits on my dresser.
it stares at me like a fucking demon from my past.
i feel like i need them there just in case.
in case it just gets too fucking hard.
its getting so fucking hard.
because honestly, i'm dealing with getting over her.
so why am i still so unhappy?
if i'm getting past all that.
when am i gonna feel okay about me?
when am i gonna love me?
why can't i listen to what all my friends say?
that i am a good person.
that i am their best friend.
why, why the fuck do i still feel so god damn worthless?
i just ate and i feel like throwing it all up.
i feel like shit.
i feel like i'll never get to that point.
that point where everything just falls into place for me.
i'm hoping someone will stay with me this weekend.
as much as i say i want to be alone...
i know i don't need it.
i scare myself when i'm alone.