Not Story Related, But (Maybe) Worth A Read.
This morning I woke up a little earlier than usual. There was a lot of free time before I really had to get up and start doing anything, so I engaged in my guilty pleasure of ljsecret . I perused through post after post. Secret after secret. I giggled a little, I felt bad for some of the posters, and I skimmed over some because they were too long or boring.
Eventually, I found myself scrolling through a batch posted on June 26. Not that long ago. In its midst, I found this. Secret number seven.
It hit me harder than any secret I've ever seen, anywhere. Never in my moments of reading peoples carefully composed secrets, have I cried. Never. This one made me cry quite a bit. It struck a major cord.
Coming up in a few days is the third anniversary of my dearest friend's death. She, much like the OP, was Bipolar. Another thing in common? She took her life four days after the OP of this secret planned/plans - I sincerely hope they have abandoned this plan - to take theirs. Reading this might as well have been reading something she had scrawled. This particular wound had already been slightly open (as it always is during this time), and this secret made the rip complete.
At this time, there is nothing I want more than to know that the poster of this has since decided to abandon their plans. I see the amount of planning they have put into this; the fact that they arranged it so their family would not have a ruined holiday or special event is proof what a caring individual they are. It's proof that they are loved by people now, and could be loved by others. They certainly have my affections. They certainly have people that would be ripped apart if they went through with this. Suicide is like tossing a live grenade into the existence of everyone you know, and everyone you might know. It holds a ripple effect that should not be underestimated. I can testify to this, for I have lost two lovely people to it, and have seen people lose loved ones. The effects are so damaging, and so long lasting. Everyone close to you is left wondering "What could I have done to prevent this?"
Well? What must they do?
What must we do?
I know I'm still wondering from three years ago, and from a few months ago.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I apologize for the cliché, but its true. Sadly, the people who have reached the point of considering it never really realise that. Some of them are able to be pulled back from the edge; some are almost instantly grateful for it, some take a while to fully appreciate the life they wound up living. Others aren't pulled back and the people around them are forever left wondering why they did it, what they could have done or said to stop it, and why they weren't safe enough in their relationships to say anything. Verbalizing on it is hard. Though, it seems verbalizing on anything these days is hard. However, this is one thing I strongly encourage people to vocalize on. Just for a moment push aside the thoughts of potential judgement, of feeling weak for having to seek help, and embrace the support that you have and need. This also goes for people close to someone contemplating suicide. Tell them you fucking love them, and proceed to hug. Sometimes the smallest set of words is all someone needs to hear. And if you don't say it when you have a chance, you may never get to. So say it. Shout it!
OP (whoever you may be),
I have the sincerest hopes that you did not go through with this. Bipolar is swinging; hopefully it swung you out of the state you were in, and hopefully it keeps you out. I know things can be hard. But if we didn't have the downfalls in life, we would be unable to appreciate the amazing parts of it. Please, please don't use this as a quick fix. Theres so much you have left. There are people you need to meet who are ready to love you. There are things you need to do that will make you so happy. While you may not think so, I assure you that a plethora of good experiences are out there with your name scrawled upon them. Amazing events and people are out there for you, do not deny them.
Also, while you may think you are being considerate to your family by planning around special events, this is not so. They will be just as devastated by what you are planning to do. It doesn't matter when you do it, it's still going to hurt like a cast-iron bitch.
For your sake, and for those around you, I hope you did not and do not go through with this.
Usually, I wouldn't post things like this in a story journal. But I'm extremely passionate about suicide prevention and awareness. Also, my story does deal with some similar themes. Not to the extent of a characters suicide, or even to the contemplation of such a thing, but the main character has Bipolar I Disorder . So there is an alignment of sorts enough for me to deem this appropriate.
I'm sorry to have gone on about this for so long, but I felt horribly compelled to say something, anything. On some levels this has something to do with my story, as I suppose it offers a little bit of insight into a particular character. I was going to withhold this information until later on, but after seeing this I had to write, and I felt it was a good time to release a little bit of information as to why I'm writing this, and maybe why I'm writing the story.
But mostly, this post is just some concerned person worrying about another person.
Eventually, I found myself scrolling through a batch posted on June 26. Not that long ago. In its midst, I found this. Secret number seven.
It hit me harder than any secret I've ever seen, anywhere. Never in my moments of reading peoples carefully composed secrets, have I cried. Never. This one made me cry quite a bit. It struck a major cord.
Coming up in a few days is the third anniversary of my dearest friend's death. She, much like the OP, was Bipolar. Another thing in common? She took her life four days after the OP of this secret planned/plans - I sincerely hope they have abandoned this plan - to take theirs. Reading this might as well have been reading something she had scrawled. This particular wound had already been slightly open (as it always is during this time), and this secret made the rip complete.
At this time, there is nothing I want more than to know that the poster of this has since decided to abandon their plans. I see the amount of planning they have put into this; the fact that they arranged it so their family would not have a ruined holiday or special event is proof what a caring individual they are. It's proof that they are loved by people now, and could be loved by others. They certainly have my affections. They certainly have people that would be ripped apart if they went through with this. Suicide is like tossing a live grenade into the existence of everyone you know, and everyone you might know. It holds a ripple effect that should not be underestimated. I can testify to this, for I have lost two lovely people to it, and have seen people lose loved ones. The effects are so damaging, and so long lasting. Everyone close to you is left wondering "What could I have done to prevent this?"
Well? What must they do?
What must we do?
I know I'm still wondering from three years ago, and from a few months ago.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I apologize for the cliché, but its true. Sadly, the people who have reached the point of considering it never really realise that. Some of them are able to be pulled back from the edge; some are almost instantly grateful for it, some take a while to fully appreciate the life they wound up living. Others aren't pulled back and the people around them are forever left wondering why they did it, what they could have done or said to stop it, and why they weren't safe enough in their relationships to say anything. Verbalizing on it is hard. Though, it seems verbalizing on anything these days is hard. However, this is one thing I strongly encourage people to vocalize on. Just for a moment push aside the thoughts of potential judgement, of feeling weak for having to seek help, and embrace the support that you have and need. This also goes for people close to someone contemplating suicide. Tell them you fucking love them, and proceed to hug. Sometimes the smallest set of words is all someone needs to hear. And if you don't say it when you have a chance, you may never get to. So say it. Shout it!
OP (whoever you may be),
I have the sincerest hopes that you did not go through with this. Bipolar is swinging; hopefully it swung you out of the state you were in, and hopefully it keeps you out. I know things can be hard. But if we didn't have the downfalls in life, we would be unable to appreciate the amazing parts of it. Please, please don't use this as a quick fix. Theres so much you have left. There are people you need to meet who are ready to love you. There are things you need to do that will make you so happy. While you may not think so, I assure you that a plethora of good experiences are out there with your name scrawled upon them. Amazing events and people are out there for you, do not deny them.
Also, while you may think you are being considerate to your family by planning around special events, this is not so. They will be just as devastated by what you are planning to do. It doesn't matter when you do it, it's still going to hurt like a cast-iron bitch.
For your sake, and for those around you, I hope you did not and do not go through with this.
Usually, I wouldn't post things like this in a story journal. But I'm extremely passionate about suicide prevention and awareness. Also, my story does deal with some similar themes. Not to the extent of a characters suicide, or even to the contemplation of such a thing, but the main character has Bipolar I Disorder . So there is an alignment of sorts enough for me to deem this appropriate.
I'm sorry to have gone on about this for so long, but I felt horribly compelled to say something, anything. On some levels this has something to do with my story, as I suppose it offers a little bit of insight into a particular character. I was going to withhold this information until later on, but after seeing this I had to write, and I felt it was a good time to release a little bit of information as to why I'm writing this, and maybe why I'm writing the story.
But mostly, this post is just some concerned person worrying about another person.