I've been trying
I've been trying to surpass all of them. But they're not giving me a second chance. Is it fair? No matter what I do and how I present myself. What's worse than anything is the look of neutrality. No.. it's more like there's something seriously wrong but everyone's too afraid to say a word. Have you ever seen the movie "Nurse Betty"? I love the movie but I hate it. A lot of times I feel like I'm put into those situations with that awkward feeling/vibe. Everyone around me know what's going on but I'm still just waiting for the punchline. I may act like I'm stronger than how I was last year but I'm still the same. It's killing me inside just to seem like I got better, that I'm stronger... It's a laugh, that's what it really is. Though, there were a few people who saved me today. Someone told me I'm too nice, too nice of a person. He asked me why I was like that. And my Spanish teacher from this morning gave me an encouraging smile as always and told me "Good job" when I was walking out of the class. He always gives me those very feeling looks that makes me think that everything's alright. He knows that there's something wrong with me. My dad called me today 'cause earlier I told him I wanted to come home this weekend. He was happy to bring me home. He asked me if everything's ok, if anyone was being mean to me, if I was depressed. I just answered yes, no, and no while biting my tongue. It makes me want to cry every time someone's nice to me. I never meant anyone any harm. I swear to God.