Its been forever
So mostly I dont even know who reads this but I was on and figured I would update even just for myself.
In Love
So Steven and I are back together and I love him very much. If you know me you know how huge that is for me to say. I am not a very love giddy girl. I never really even dated anyone in highschol just because I wasnt that girl. I was never the couple people could see getting married, I was never really a couple at all. But with Steven things are just soo different. His cuzins graduation was this weekend so I met him there and we stayed at his aunts saturday night into sunday. It was the first time Ive gotten to see hime since we left school almost two months ago. We had been talking soo much more and getting to know each other soo much better and talking about God more. I feel like when we were dating before we were so both no right with God that thigs just werent working. Now it seems like the closer we each get to walking in our own relationships with God the closer we get to each other. We both really want things to work out right this time and I think they will. I have never felt this way about someon so close to me before. He is my best friend and I never want to loose wat we have because I dontreally know what I would do. I dont know what I was doing for so long with out him anyway. I love everything aout him, his smile his crazy family, the way he looks at me, the way my hand fits in his, his arms around me. When he hugs me I feel like nothing could ever hurt me. I miss him soo much!
This is us this weekend at his aunts house.
Leaving for Camp - www.timbertops.com
Moving on, I leave for camp on monday. I got a job at a camp in the poconos for the summer. I will be teaching photography at an all girls camp. I am soo nervous and excited at the same time and I dont know what to do with myself. I havent even started packing. I am soo scared I am not going to be ready for any of this, I am going to get there and have no idea what to do.
God and Life
God has been great. He is teaching me new things every day and bringing new people into my life all the time. Steve's mother and I got a chance to sit down and talk this weekend and it was so awesome. I felt like God was so with me professing his works through me. It was such a great feeling to sit down and talk about how he was working in my life every day and teaching me new things. I think it was one of the first times I was able to sit down with someone and just open up and say what GOd was doing in my life. and be honest about some things. I have been so much more comfortable talking about my depression recently, like I know Ive battled it and I am going to be ok. I guess I just know that the Lord is with me and I feel like I am going to be ok. I couldnt be happier than I am right now. I am in love yet I know my happiness is and can only truly be grounded in the Lord.
I could be reading the bible more but its just hard, not because of time or anything but because I get soo distracted and I cant find the new medication I got for the add. I think I need to find a new doctor that can just prescribe meds for that because last time it was such a project getting a new script. And I am going crazy, im affraid I am not going to be able to teach these girls anything because I will be less focused then the middleschooler girls.
AIP vs. Geneva
So I will be returning to Geneva in the Fall. I desided against going to AIP next semester I am going to hold off and go my Jr year as originally planned. When the semester came to an end things were begining to look up and my head was being pulled out of the hole it had been hiding under for the previous few months. I knew the truth was that it was a better idea for me to stay and grow more before I left to be on my own. And thing is, waiting till my Jr year means I will have more options because Iwill have a car. So there is the chance I cna take classes in the city as well as classes at Geneva. This way it might also help wiht getting things done on time.
There was just so much I was drawing a blind eye to when I made my desision to go a year earlie. I was soo unhappy that I thought things would jus tbe better somewhere else for a year and then Icould come back and start over. But when I started to come out of my living coma I realized that I was trying to run from something that had nothing to do with Geneva. And no I am seeing that if I had done so I may have ony gotten worse. Because I was running from something I needed to battle out first or it would have just followed me, but the next time, I wouldnt have had the support I had this time.
SO in conclusion I realize more and more every day that it was the right desision to stay another yea at Geneva.
Pretty much thats about it for what I can remember right now. I wish more people were on line because I am so excited about things and I want to tell every one!!!
In Love
So Steven and I are back together and I love him very much. If you know me you know how huge that is for me to say. I am not a very love giddy girl. I never really even dated anyone in highschol just because I wasnt that girl. I was never the couple people could see getting married, I was never really a couple at all. But with Steven things are just soo different. His cuzins graduation was this weekend so I met him there and we stayed at his aunts saturday night into sunday. It was the first time Ive gotten to see hime since we left school almost two months ago. We had been talking soo much more and getting to know each other soo much better and talking about God more. I feel like when we were dating before we were so both no right with God that thigs just werent working. Now it seems like the closer we each get to walking in our own relationships with God the closer we get to each other. We both really want things to work out right this time and I think they will. I have never felt this way about someon so close to me before. He is my best friend and I never want to loose wat we have because I dontreally know what I would do. I dont know what I was doing for so long with out him anyway. I love everything aout him, his smile his crazy family, the way he looks at me, the way my hand fits in his, his arms around me. When he hugs me I feel like nothing could ever hurt me. I miss him soo much!
This is us this weekend at his aunts house.
Leaving for Camp - www.timbertops.com
Moving on, I leave for camp on monday. I got a job at a camp in the poconos for the summer. I will be teaching photography at an all girls camp. I am soo nervous and excited at the same time and I dont know what to do with myself. I havent even started packing. I am soo scared I am not going to be ready for any of this, I am going to get there and have no idea what to do.
God and Life
God has been great. He is teaching me new things every day and bringing new people into my life all the time. Steve's mother and I got a chance to sit down and talk this weekend and it was so awesome. I felt like God was so with me professing his works through me. It was such a great feeling to sit down and talk about how he was working in my life every day and teaching me new things. I think it was one of the first times I was able to sit down with someone and just open up and say what GOd was doing in my life. and be honest about some things. I have been so much more comfortable talking about my depression recently, like I know Ive battled it and I am going to be ok. I guess I just know that the Lord is with me and I feel like I am going to be ok. I couldnt be happier than I am right now. I am in love yet I know my happiness is and can only truly be grounded in the Lord.
I could be reading the bible more but its just hard, not because of time or anything but because I get soo distracted and I cant find the new medication I got for the add. I think I need to find a new doctor that can just prescribe meds for that because last time it was such a project getting a new script. And I am going crazy, im affraid I am not going to be able to teach these girls anything because I will be less focused then the middleschooler girls.
AIP vs. Geneva
So I will be returning to Geneva in the Fall. I desided against going to AIP next semester I am going to hold off and go my Jr year as originally planned. When the semester came to an end things were begining to look up and my head was being pulled out of the hole it had been hiding under for the previous few months. I knew the truth was that it was a better idea for me to stay and grow more before I left to be on my own. And thing is, waiting till my Jr year means I will have more options because Iwill have a car. So there is the chance I cna take classes in the city as well as classes at Geneva. This way it might also help wiht getting things done on time.
There was just so much I was drawing a blind eye to when I made my desision to go a year earlie. I was soo unhappy that I thought things would jus tbe better somewhere else for a year and then Icould come back and start over. But when I started to come out of my living coma I realized that I was trying to run from something that had nothing to do with Geneva. And no I am seeing that if I had done so I may have ony gotten worse. Because I was running from something I needed to battle out first or it would have just followed me, but the next time, I wouldnt have had the support I had this time.
SO in conclusion I realize more and more every day that it was the right desision to stay another yea at Geneva.
Pretty much thats about it for what I can remember right now. I wish more people were on line because I am so excited about things and I want to tell every one!!!