chipmunks have dragged me away to fight the almighty squirell army
the mighty general wally mcnutz (his favorite nut is a walnut) has come to me for help in defeating the dreaded general mcorn (his favorite nut is an acorn.... (didn't see that coming did you?) and well apparently the squirells have oppressed the chipmunks for years..and now they are sick of it and they need my help. mcnutz has been fighting the squirells for almost a year now and loses on both sides have been intense (haven't been seeing as many of the little buggers outside lately have you?) and he has been sending envoys to the flying squirells for help but since there are so few flying ones they are trying to remain neutral but are on friendly terms with both.. the damn squirells found out the chipmunks had made contact with me and so have been sending ninja assasin squirells after me...it was soo damn cute i mean wtf a little squirell comes at you with a little sword and says "aaaahhhhh you die now!" and i fell over laughing and then he started hitting my shoe right in the steel toe part and so he hit it but his sword started vibrating since he hit solid steel with steel and then my 'protector' chipmunks came outa the wood working (litterally these small doors opened up and they started yelling and throwing nija stars at the squirells and i more or less was on the ground giggling since it looked so damn funny.... oh god it was hillarious) anyways they captured a few alive and questioned them and found out that the squirell army plans on siezing a decomished tank and driving around town killing all the chipmunks.... at this point i called my stoner friends and they told me to stop taking drugs without them... i didn't take any i swear but oh well no help from them... anyways sir volan (short for Glaucomys volan which is the name of the southern species of flying squirell) anyways sir volan of the 53rd airborn defensive wing showed up to inform us of the assasination of his uncle the king of flying squirells Glaucomys sabrinus (they call him the saber) anyways volan informed us of his nations comittment to an alliance proposal requested by wally and his people...or...well his fellow chipmunks actually i don't think you can call them people.....anyways they sat here and discussed strategy and some more ninja squirrels showed up and i kinda fell on a few when i fell over laughing when they tried to attack me again....just soo damn cute.... so at this point i figure whats going on has to be me having fallen asleep at work or something but then i get stabed in the forehead by a squirell so i more or less threw a fit about bleeding from my head and so i joined the chipmunks as a honorary general. so i am now general jerry to you. and yes you have to salute. i don't care if your not in my army you should still salute me because it would amuse me. anyways i sent out some troops to capture the dreaded general mcorn and because i set up the details we definitly caught him right away. and well you'd think that means we win but noooo he had orders set up to where in the event of his capture his son takes his place and continues on in his stead....so after we went and captured his son and then the cousin and then an aunt i finally gave up and told volan to mobilize the troops and invade the squirell main headquarters and i'm waiting for word of thier success....and ofcourse they won. me and wally are excelent stratigists apparently we just took like the main base and siezed the plans for maknig the tank work again and so now we have a tank....they won't let me drive it i already asked a half a dozen times till the demoted me from a 2 star general to a one for being annoying....kinda sucks i liked being a 2 star general...oh well so i kinda stepped on general mcorn on accident...didn't mean to volan had him bound and gagged so he couldn't yell out for me not to so i kidna fell over tripping over him...he died of internal bleeding but i skinned my knee....it freakin hurt and i hit my hands on the ground when i hit and it wasn't fun...the basturd...oh he killed like actual humans in thier sleep with poison so i don't feel bad about being the cause of his death...actually the promoted me to 2 star general again when they questioned be about it...they asked me why i did it and i said i felt like it and they cheered before i could say just kidding it was an accident so i decided to not tell them i tripped over him. wally knows but he was the one who promoted me so i guess he doesn't care he's just happy he's gone and he didn't have to do it...it's against their rules to execute even the most vile beings so they couldn't do it...it amused me to know end since the mcorn guy definitly called me a bunch of names i don't want to repeat ever....and i like swearing sometimes and i don't wanna tell you what he said which just goes to show how shitty squirells can be.... a few squirells have joined our cause and so in one day with my help the chipmunks have been completly liberated and i have a squad of body guard flying squirells at my disposal and a bunch of chipmunks in little white ninja outfits and they definitly have ninja stars and make high pitch noises when they attack people....the one chipmunk tried to teach me the ancient technique of the ho-di (pronounced hoe-die) but then he realized it's hard for me since i'm not 6 inches tall and can't jump like they can so after falling on my ass and succeeding in making everyone laugh i was forced to give up... it's funny when a squirell and chipmunk falls over laughing it made me just have to sit down and crack up..speaking of cracking up for those of you who think i've already done so it's not true i know i made all this up but it amused me at work to write a short story about squirells and chipmunks even though it was horribly written it was still fun. because see my imagination is excellent i definitly could actually see it happening in my mind. no seriously look up squirell pictures and you will see a pic of a squirell holding a bazuka.... i saved it on my computer it you want it but it definitly was like omg i need to make a story about this to amuse me....because no one is on aim and myspace won't let me log in...myspace is making me mad before i was only kidding it doesn't bother me that it makes me put a tittle for the blogs i like that it reminds me i just don't like the tone of the msgs telling me i need to put a subject so i mess around and pretend to be angry but ever since i've been saying stuff like "stupid myspace making me have a tittle" they have made my blog like headquarters for errors... i mean i can't log in for days in a row because of mantainance and people can't view my profile and other such nonsense... time to go. club closed. i'll finish this later i guess.....