why so much fighting when i'm not angry enough for this?
ignorancecanhurt: i called at 815 according to my clock.
ignorancecanhurt: if you'd actually try to hang out, i'd be nice.
ignorancecanhurt: im sick of being tossed around by all of you jerks.
ignorancecanhurt: its annoying.
ignorancecanhurt: so yea, im not gonna sit around waiting for you to respond.
ignorancecanhurt: im not gonna fucking say "jer when do you have tiem" because i dont need to beg for you to come back.
ignorancecanhurt: im sick of it.
ignorancecanhurt: you want me around, you'd call me.
ignorancecanhurt: goodbye.
ignorancecanhurt: so fuck you jerry.
ignorancecanhurt: im sick of hearing what a horrid bitch i am. (edit from jerry:i never called her horrible..nope might have said she was a bitch but thats in response to being told to fuck off so we all know i don't mean it)
ignorancecanhurt: dont blame it all on me.
ignorancecanhurt: fuck you.
ignorancecanhurt: bye
ignorancecanhurt signed off at 6:39:32 PM.
never blaimed anything no anyone. actually i don't think besides a really long email i wrote that i got a chance to get a single word in... when people don't listen fights get really big. and she keeps saying fuck you fuck you bye and then she gets offline and comes back yells at me some more then says bye and gets off before i get a chance to speak then comes back online and yells some more. no matter what i do she will be angry so i just give up for a few days i'll say hi in a week and find out what actually happened today because if i really did trully do enough to deserve getting yelled at all day long then there is something i missed because last i checked all i did was not hang out with her for a couple weeks and waited till all the parties where over and dnoe with...we got into a huge fight a week ago and i was nice and restarted the whole talking thing since we were kinda not talking for a week or so and then she asks to hang out i say sorry i already have plans then this happened.... fighting fighting fighting and i haven't been angry yet..just kinda dissapointed in the whole situation. i'm leaving her alone for awhile obviously she needs to figure out whats going on or calm down or something....all i did was hang out with some other people for awhile then NOT ditch them for her and now all hell broke loose...
and to top it all off i had a really good night last night after a really bad angry throwing stuff (damn door to my room was left locked so i had to kick it in to break in and i broke the door now it won't lock ever again...oops) anyways i was mad enough to fight yesterday now all i wanna do is have everyone happy again. and just because i don't talk to someone alot or hang out with them ever doesn't mean i don't care about them....as crappy as a friendship as this is sometimes i haven't given up..why? because i like torturing myself trying to not fight about every other thing? no it isn't that..well then it must be that i fucking care. i mean shit i care about all my old friends alot mroe than they know. i miss the hell outa hanging out with katie..we talk once every now and then but it doesn't mean she isn't still very important to me. she was a big part of my life and still is one of the best friends i've ever had..therefor not getting rid of her. as a matter of fact i'm not getting rid of anyone...still hang out with bill and taryn hanging out with kourtney every now and then when she calls and i still talk to kara and i hope to hang out with chris soon but the best friends i have i don't hang out with but once a month...i see taryn and bill like once a month and hang out with katie like once every 5 months now i think and ashley i see a bit more than katie and a little less then bil and taryn but does that mean that i like one more than the other? no it just means everyone is always busy and that i don't hang out during the day with people and that i don't make plans with anyone anymore...i try to let others make the plans with me. not begging..just a text saying hey wanna hang out i say sure when where and after that gets sorted out things are good....if i already have plans i DO NOT CANCEL THEM. sorry i'm trying to be a better friend to everyone collectivly..not just have a few favorites and a few that i lie to every now and then. oh and thats another thing..i stoped lying....so be happy with me not angry. i tell the truth evertime now...i might not tell you everything but if you ask i answer even if i don't want to. i'm doing all this and getting more stressed about daily life and trying to go back to school and trying to find a way to buy a new car and trying to jumpstart my life...give me a break if i'm a little busy and i have a life now. i make plans every day by 6 at the latest usually unless they are ahead of time and plans i make ahead of time i keep no matter what. so all these people getting mad at me because i'm busy should get together and talk and realize i'm doing it to everyone! tonight i've already said no to hanging out with kara and i'll end up leaving kourtney's early to see jeremiah come back from oklohoma. tomorrow i'm going to be free but sat i have plans ahead of time to hang out with my cousin nick. and after that it goes to every day shit. i have been home so little my parents called me to see how i was today i mean come on you can't get mad at me for finally getting a life? make plans that i can keep and i will make ones that i can't and i won't keep them. it's that simple.
ignorancecanhurt: if you'd actually try to hang out, i'd be nice.
ignorancecanhurt: im sick of being tossed around by all of you jerks.
ignorancecanhurt: its annoying.
ignorancecanhurt: so yea, im not gonna sit around waiting for you to respond.
ignorancecanhurt: im not gonna fucking say "jer when do you have tiem" because i dont need to beg for you to come back.
ignorancecanhurt: im sick of it.
ignorancecanhurt: you want me around, you'd call me.
ignorancecanhurt: goodbye.
ignorancecanhurt: so fuck you jerry.
ignorancecanhurt: im sick of hearing what a horrid bitch i am. (edit from jerry:i never called her horrible..nope might have said she was a bitch but thats in response to being told to fuck off so we all know i don't mean it)
ignorancecanhurt: dont blame it all on me.
ignorancecanhurt: fuck you.
ignorancecanhurt: bye
ignorancecanhurt signed off at 6:39:32 PM.
never blaimed anything no anyone. actually i don't think besides a really long email i wrote that i got a chance to get a single word in... when people don't listen fights get really big. and she keeps saying fuck you fuck you bye and then she gets offline and comes back yells at me some more then says bye and gets off before i get a chance to speak then comes back online and yells some more. no matter what i do she will be angry so i just give up for a few days i'll say hi in a week and find out what actually happened today because if i really did trully do enough to deserve getting yelled at all day long then there is something i missed because last i checked all i did was not hang out with her for a couple weeks and waited till all the parties where over and dnoe with...we got into a huge fight a week ago and i was nice and restarted the whole talking thing since we were kinda not talking for a week or so and then she asks to hang out i say sorry i already have plans then this happened.... fighting fighting fighting and i haven't been angry yet..just kinda dissapointed in the whole situation. i'm leaving her alone for awhile obviously she needs to figure out whats going on or calm down or something....all i did was hang out with some other people for awhile then NOT ditch them for her and now all hell broke loose...
and to top it all off i had a really good night last night after a really bad angry throwing stuff (damn door to my room was left locked so i had to kick it in to break in and i broke the door now it won't lock ever again...oops) anyways i was mad enough to fight yesterday now all i wanna do is have everyone happy again. and just because i don't talk to someone alot or hang out with them ever doesn't mean i don't care about them....as crappy as a friendship as this is sometimes i haven't given up..why? because i like torturing myself trying to not fight about every other thing? no it isn't that..well then it must be that i fucking care. i mean shit i care about all my old friends alot mroe than they know. i miss the hell outa hanging out with katie..we talk once every now and then but it doesn't mean she isn't still very important to me. she was a big part of my life and still is one of the best friends i've ever had..therefor not getting rid of her. as a matter of fact i'm not getting rid of anyone...still hang out with bill and taryn hanging out with kourtney every now and then when she calls and i still talk to kara and i hope to hang out with chris soon but the best friends i have i don't hang out with but once a month...i see taryn and bill like once a month and hang out with katie like once every 5 months now i think and ashley i see a bit more than katie and a little less then bil and taryn but does that mean that i like one more than the other? no it just means everyone is always busy and that i don't hang out during the day with people and that i don't make plans with anyone anymore...i try to let others make the plans with me. not begging..just a text saying hey wanna hang out i say sure when where and after that gets sorted out things are good....if i already have plans i DO NOT CANCEL THEM. sorry i'm trying to be a better friend to everyone collectivly..not just have a few favorites and a few that i lie to every now and then. oh and thats another thing..i stoped lying....so be happy with me not angry. i tell the truth evertime now...i might not tell you everything but if you ask i answer even if i don't want to. i'm doing all this and getting more stressed about daily life and trying to go back to school and trying to find a way to buy a new car and trying to jumpstart my life...give me a break if i'm a little busy and i have a life now. i make plans every day by 6 at the latest usually unless they are ahead of time and plans i make ahead of time i keep no matter what. so all these people getting mad at me because i'm busy should get together and talk and realize i'm doing it to everyone! tonight i've already said no to hanging out with kara and i'll end up leaving kourtney's early to see jeremiah come back from oklohoma. tomorrow i'm going to be free but sat i have plans ahead of time to hang out with my cousin nick. and after that it goes to every day shit. i have been home so little my parents called me to see how i was today i mean come on you can't get mad at me for finally getting a life? make plans that i can keep and i will make ones that i can't and i won't keep them. it's that simple.