(no subject)
i just sit and stare into my hands. there is nothing i can say to make sense of the feelings i hold. i feel this fury from deep within. its almost like nothing matters. it just is. i look down and there are knives. nothing drips. i feel nothing.
i lie on my back. darkness surrounds me in a cold blanket. my mind races through many different subjects in no time at all. sleep is not one of them. a flash of light. my right eye is just... gone. my leg twitches. i feel nothing.
its like i am here. but it is nothing. its like i am here. but it is nothing. i am here and here. they are both nothing. plans are just plans. if they take action they do. but it is all nothing. there is a constant deterioration. someone needs to believe i hate them so they can feel good about themselves. they need to believe that i am the cause of all their problems so they can feel like they are unable to change anything. but it is nothing. i get angry but its not worth it. someone wants me to think im their friend, but they are stupid. i understand them more then they understand me. its a lost cause for them. but it doesnt matter. it is nothing. i am here and it is nothing.
i lie on my back. darkness surrounds me in a cold blanket. my mind races through many different subjects in no time at all. sleep is not one of them. a flash of light. my right eye is just... gone. my leg twitches. i feel nothing.
its like i am here. but it is nothing. its like i am here. but it is nothing. i am here and here. they are both nothing. plans are just plans. if they take action they do. but it is all nothing. there is a constant deterioration. someone needs to believe i hate them so they can feel good about themselves. they need to believe that i am the cause of all their problems so they can feel like they are unable to change anything. but it is nothing. i get angry but its not worth it. someone wants me to think im their friend, but they are stupid. i understand them more then they understand me. its a lost cause for them. but it doesnt matter. it is nothing. i am here and it is nothing.