i hate surprises
i dont remember the last time i was on here. i dont even know if people read this anymore...
excuse me but i am going to be emo and cry to you.
last night i went 80s dancing at area 51 for the 3rd time since ive been back from russia. it was supposed to be fun, another one of the many ways i try to keep my mind of matt. i hadnt seen him since august 20th when he drove away from my house for the last time. he told me the 4 months would go by so fast and when i got back things would be great. as you can probably tell, thats not how it worked out. i ran into him at 80s night and he was just as gorgeous as he always was. it was so surreal to see him and talk to him. even weirder is that he said hes been at 80s night every week since christmas which means we were there twice before together and didnt know it. he danced with us for a while which i liked because it was him, but it killed me at the same time.
why did he tell me he had never met anyone like me?
why did he tell me he loved me?
why did he tell me he was going to wait for me?
why did he tell me he was going to marry me?
why did he tell me he was going to take me to italy?
why did he do all this and then forget about me?
HOW could he do all this and then forget about me?
i thought i was doing better but last night brought everything back, everything i wont have. everything we planned to do and have together is just a dream.
people keep saying to me, "dont you hate him?" or "he's such a jerk" but i dont hate him and he's not a jerk. he's amazing and ill always love him.
excuse me but i am going to be emo and cry to you.
last night i went 80s dancing at area 51 for the 3rd time since ive been back from russia. it was supposed to be fun, another one of the many ways i try to keep my mind of matt. i hadnt seen him since august 20th when he drove away from my house for the last time. he told me the 4 months would go by so fast and when i got back things would be great. as you can probably tell, thats not how it worked out. i ran into him at 80s night and he was just as gorgeous as he always was. it was so surreal to see him and talk to him. even weirder is that he said hes been at 80s night every week since christmas which means we were there twice before together and didnt know it. he danced with us for a while which i liked because it was him, but it killed me at the same time.
why did he tell me he had never met anyone like me?
why did he tell me he loved me?
why did he tell me he was going to wait for me?
why did he tell me he was going to marry me?
why did he tell me he was going to take me to italy?
why did he do all this and then forget about me?
HOW could he do all this and then forget about me?
i thought i was doing better but last night brought everything back, everything i wont have. everything we planned to do and have together is just a dream.
people keep saying to me, "dont you hate him?" or "he's such a jerk" but i dont hate him and he's not a jerk. he's amazing and ill always love him.