Hiya!
When I was in 2nd grade my parents enrolled me into a Karate class. It wasnt a serious martial arts place it was more like the places you see all over the mini malls and shit where some asshole running around in Pajamas would scream loud words while he did some ass awkward punching.
My teacher (or sensi if you want to be a dick about it) resembled Captain Ron and was probably going through a bad divorce. Anyway this guy was a dick he would get real graphic and be like
"THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SOME COMES AT YOU WITH A KNIFE!!!" and grab my 6 year old wrist and twist it.
Then he have you demonstrate it on your partner. If some one attacked me with a knife back then you could best bet my six year old ass was doing some kind of screaming and dying manuver.
One class I couldnt stop laughing at the guy and he was so intense that I would try to hold it in and that only made it worse. Finally the guy calls me up to a demonstration. Allright public humiliation here I come.
Teacher: YOU! COME UP HERE! Im gonna teach you how to take a punch!
Little Brett:...okay
Then he stood in front of me with his legs at a wide distance apart with the feet facing in opposite directions. He had his upper part of his arms close to his body with his forarms shooting out and palms up with his hand clenched.
If You get that visual picture correct ill shot you over some respect.
Then the guy goes
Teacher: PUNCH ME IN THE STOMICH!!!
So i did the punch he taught me into his gut.
Teacher: NOW TAKE A MOMMENT TO EMBRACE THE PAIN!
Teacher: OHHHHHHH YEAH!!!
Was this guy truely a master of martial arts!? MIND OVER MATTER!? Was he trained to resist intense pain by buddhist monks!? Or was it a grown man getting punched in the stomich by a 6 year old?
Another timeless question but I digress.
Then he had the older students go around and let the little kids hit them in the stomich. Yeah so I quit that class.
What made me write this?
Well, I saw a video where some guy is getting hit with a stick and it reminded me of this. It was pretty damn cool. Infact we need more people to get beat with sticks.
Brett:...and then Barbra Were gonna have sex on the mens room floor of Mcdonalds.
Mrs Selleck: ooooooooh sounds romatic!
Brett: Thats not even the whole thing! Im gonna wear a burger king crown when we get it on!
Mrs Selleck: A burger king crown IN A MCDONALDS!?
Brett: Thats right Barbra im on the edge like that...
Brett: Im on the edge babe.
Mrs Selleck: OoOOOoh Baby Oh!
(Just then noises are heard outside on the lawn)
Brett: Hold on babe...there back again.
(cue dramatic music)
(meanwhile...)
Joe: ...And then I stormed out screaming "YOU JUST DONT UNDER STAND ME" and ran into my room and watched designing women!
Selleck: OH! High Five! That is so posi, I am totally like the white verson of the black guy on that show! CAPTIAN posi EVEN! Up the punx!
Joe: yeah
Selleck:...put on the pirate hat?
Joe: Selleck! I said NO!
Selleck: ARRRR! Up the Pirate punk!
Joe: STOP IT I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!
Selleck: okay...
Selleck: Hey! remeber saved by the bell!
Joe: That show was so rad!
Sellek: Remeber that episode when there at the max and....
BRETT: HEY GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY LAWN!!!
(Just then our hero runs with the intensity of the gazelle out of the house and onto the lawn. For some reason he is Doesed in sweet,So much so It looks like he took a shower but we know that isnt possible,however with that sweet comes the smell of sucess. Wearing only briefs. Armed with a beer in one hand and a stick in the other, Justice will be dispensed.)
Brett: FUCK YOU (WHIP!!!!!) FUCK SAVED BY THE BELL (WHIIIIIPPPP!!!!)
Joe: The horrible skin welts OHHHH WHAT A WORLD ACK! ACK! THE HORROR!
Brett: LORD KNOWS I CANT CHANGE BABY CAUSE IM AS FREE AS A BIRD!!!!!!
(WHIP!)
(WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIPPP!!!)
Selleck: MY EYES!!! IM BLIND!!!
Brett: ACT LIKE A MAN!
Selleck: I caaaaannnnnt seeeee! I cannnnnnnnnt! see oh the agony!!!
BRETT: Well gentlemen... My work here is over, now if you excuse me... (chugs beer)GREESE ME UP BARBRA! GRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSE ME UP!
- Ack ack ack you got me. From your friend
the bop
My teacher (or sensi if you want to be a dick about it) resembled Captain Ron and was probably going through a bad divorce. Anyway this guy was a dick he would get real graphic and be like
"THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SOME COMES AT YOU WITH A KNIFE!!!" and grab my 6 year old wrist and twist it.
Then he have you demonstrate it on your partner. If some one attacked me with a knife back then you could best bet my six year old ass was doing some kind of screaming and dying manuver.
One class I couldnt stop laughing at the guy and he was so intense that I would try to hold it in and that only made it worse. Finally the guy calls me up to a demonstration. Allright public humiliation here I come.
Teacher: YOU! COME UP HERE! Im gonna teach you how to take a punch!
Little Brett:...okay
Then he stood in front of me with his legs at a wide distance apart with the feet facing in opposite directions. He had his upper part of his arms close to his body with his forarms shooting out and palms up with his hand clenched.
If You get that visual picture correct ill shot you over some respect.
Then the guy goes
Teacher: PUNCH ME IN THE STOMICH!!!
So i did the punch he taught me into his gut.
Teacher: NOW TAKE A MOMMENT TO EMBRACE THE PAIN!
Teacher: OHHHHHHH YEAH!!!
Was this guy truely a master of martial arts!? MIND OVER MATTER!? Was he trained to resist intense pain by buddhist monks!? Or was it a grown man getting punched in the stomich by a 6 year old?
Another timeless question but I digress.
Then he had the older students go around and let the little kids hit them in the stomich. Yeah so I quit that class.
What made me write this?
Well, I saw a video where some guy is getting hit with a stick and it reminded me of this. It was pretty damn cool. Infact we need more people to get beat with sticks.
Brett:...and then Barbra Were gonna have sex on the mens room floor of Mcdonalds.
Mrs Selleck: ooooooooh sounds romatic!
Brett: Thats not even the whole thing! Im gonna wear a burger king crown when we get it on!
Mrs Selleck: A burger king crown IN A MCDONALDS!?
Brett: Thats right Barbra im on the edge like that...
Brett: Im on the edge babe.
Mrs Selleck: OoOOOoh Baby Oh!
(Just then noises are heard outside on the lawn)
Brett: Hold on babe...there back again.
(cue dramatic music)
(meanwhile...)
Joe: ...And then I stormed out screaming "YOU JUST DONT UNDER STAND ME" and ran into my room and watched designing women!
Selleck: OH! High Five! That is so posi, I am totally like the white verson of the black guy on that show! CAPTIAN posi EVEN! Up the punx!
Joe: yeah
Selleck:...put on the pirate hat?
Joe: Selleck! I said NO!
Selleck: ARRRR! Up the Pirate punk!
Joe: STOP IT I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!
Selleck: okay...
Selleck: Hey! remeber saved by the bell!
Joe: That show was so rad!
Sellek: Remeber that episode when there at the max and....
BRETT: HEY GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY LAWN!!!
(Just then our hero runs with the intensity of the gazelle out of the house and onto the lawn. For some reason he is Doesed in sweet,So much so It looks like he took a shower but we know that isnt possible,however with that sweet comes the smell of sucess. Wearing only briefs. Armed with a beer in one hand and a stick in the other, Justice will be dispensed.)
Brett: FUCK YOU (WHIP!!!!!) FUCK SAVED BY THE BELL (WHIIIIIPPPP!!!!)
Joe: The horrible skin welts OHHHH WHAT A WORLD ACK! ACK! THE HORROR!
Brett: LORD KNOWS I CANT CHANGE BABY CAUSE IM AS FREE AS A BIRD!!!!!!
(WHIP!)
(WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIPPP!!!)
Selleck: MY EYES!!! IM BLIND!!!
Brett: ACT LIKE A MAN!
Selleck: I caaaaannnnnt seeeee! I cannnnnnnnnt! see oh the agony!!!
BRETT: Well gentlemen... My work here is over, now if you excuse me... (chugs beer)GREESE ME UP BARBRA! GRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSE ME UP!
- Ack ack ack you got me. From your friend
the bop