another peacefull night at the bop
So everyone in the building is sleeping peacefully then out of no where the one of the upstairs nieghbors boyfriends shows up and starts trying to kick down there door loud as hell screaming.
It was 4 in the morning. On a sunday night. Godamnit. Does this suck anymore? Little did I know what greatness was about to ensue. All of a sudden the neighbor from across of me BURSTS out of his aparment with Gun in hand and screams
"MY MAN IF YOU DONT LEAVE YOUR GONNA GET SHOT!"
Godamn that guy is my hero! Shot the bastard I say! A good night sleep is hard to come by these days. My wish goes un answered as the boy friend leaves with no incident. Only however to be followed by the girlfriend banging on the door 2 hours later.
Then my hero emerges once again and starts yelling.
Aparently the girl locked herself out and the Hero goes on a rant about how its to bad.
Then my nieghbor in the back of the building calls the cops and they bust up that scene. Anyway another fucking night lacking of sleep.
Next morning I wake up to walk the dog only to find my hero racking garbage from the street. While his wife and young daughter watch from the stoop. I say hello and walk by but the heros wife follows me with the kid talking about how pretty the dog is.
Meanwhile the dog is trying to take a shit. I got nervous, I dont want to have this guy see his wife following me down the street talking to me. Fucking guy bursts out of his apartment in the middle of the night waving a gun around!
Shit its times like these that I thank god selleck is to much of a pussy to handle a firearm:
Brett: OH BARBRA LETS BANG IN MIKES ROOM!!!! ON HIS BED!!!.... ON TOP OF HIS BABY PICTURES!!!
Mrs Selleck: Oh yeah! LETS! Ohhhh that feels so good
(Door opens!)
Mike: MOM NO!!!!!!
Brett: ::whispers to barabra:: Does he have a gun!?
Mrs selleck: ::whispers back:: hes to much of a pussy to handle a firearm.
Brett: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT BUDDY!
Mike: WHAT! Want to know what im gonna do about it! YOU WANT TO KNOW! Im gonna go into my car listen to Papa roach write a bad zine and MAKE a difference in world!
(the bop and mrs selleck stare)
Mike: IM GONNA MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
Brett: No your not...your gonna stay in and watch or else your mother is gonna stop paying for your college,cell phone, and car.
Mrs selleck: Thats right!
Mike: Oh mom do I have to?
Brett & Mrs Selleck: YES YOU DO!
I digress. so finally old shane takes his shit and we walk back to headquaters where my hero stops me and starts talking to me.
At first he goes on a rant about the upstairs people saying there just typical ghetto people and how he should call child services on them for leaving there kids alone all the time. Then he tells me how he hates this place and wants to leave to some place nice like "down the jersey shore or las vegas". All the while im desperatly pulling the dog leash to get back the dog back in the house before I get shot in a supreme act of justice.
But unfortunetly I escaped un shot to live another day drinking cheap beers and doing the bop.
Later do0ds.
It was 4 in the morning. On a sunday night. Godamnit. Does this suck anymore? Little did I know what greatness was about to ensue. All of a sudden the neighbor from across of me BURSTS out of his aparment with Gun in hand and screams
"MY MAN IF YOU DONT LEAVE YOUR GONNA GET SHOT!"
Godamn that guy is my hero! Shot the bastard I say! A good night sleep is hard to come by these days. My wish goes un answered as the boy friend leaves with no incident. Only however to be followed by the girlfriend banging on the door 2 hours later.
Then my hero emerges once again and starts yelling.
Aparently the girl locked herself out and the Hero goes on a rant about how its to bad.
Then my nieghbor in the back of the building calls the cops and they bust up that scene. Anyway another fucking night lacking of sleep.
Next morning I wake up to walk the dog only to find my hero racking garbage from the street. While his wife and young daughter watch from the stoop. I say hello and walk by but the heros wife follows me with the kid talking about how pretty the dog is.
Meanwhile the dog is trying to take a shit. I got nervous, I dont want to have this guy see his wife following me down the street talking to me. Fucking guy bursts out of his apartment in the middle of the night waving a gun around!
Shit its times like these that I thank god selleck is to much of a pussy to handle a firearm:
Brett: OH BARBRA LETS BANG IN MIKES ROOM!!!! ON HIS BED!!!.... ON TOP OF HIS BABY PICTURES!!!
Mrs Selleck: Oh yeah! LETS! Ohhhh that feels so good
(Door opens!)
Mike: MOM NO!!!!!!
Brett: ::whispers to barabra:: Does he have a gun!?
Mrs selleck: ::whispers back:: hes to much of a pussy to handle a firearm.
Brett: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT BUDDY!
Mike: WHAT! Want to know what im gonna do about it! YOU WANT TO KNOW! Im gonna go into my car listen to Papa roach write a bad zine and MAKE a difference in world!
(the bop and mrs selleck stare)
Mike: IM GONNA MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
Brett: No your not...your gonna stay in and watch or else your mother is gonna stop paying for your college,cell phone, and car.
Mrs selleck: Thats right!
Mike: Oh mom do I have to?
Brett & Mrs Selleck: YES YOU DO!
I digress. so finally old shane takes his shit and we walk back to headquaters where my hero stops me and starts talking to me.
At first he goes on a rant about the upstairs people saying there just typical ghetto people and how he should call child services on them for leaving there kids alone all the time. Then he tells me how he hates this place and wants to leave to some place nice like "down the jersey shore or las vegas". All the while im desperatly pulling the dog leash to get back the dog back in the house before I get shot in a supreme act of justice.
But unfortunetly I escaped un shot to live another day drinking cheap beers and doing the bop.
Later do0ds.