Rebel Elph: whats there to think about you get laid and i get paid... Im a godamn hero
I wake up this morning after calling out from work and find a note from godmother. Ill leave you with some excerpts:
"If you really are sick stay in bed,rest, sleep. If you just did to much this weekend... Then wake up CLEAN THE ROOM (Brett- there is an odor I can detect in my room) and mow the lawn."
I like how after "this weekend" theres three dots. Its like the 3 dots of mystery what can she be implying...HMMM I wonder. So I disappered for three days and come home smelling of booze. Whys that a reason to suspect somthing. Its not like im out there distributing John Does are anything. Godamn the stench of a legend OhhhhhwwwWeeee.
Anyways job number 1 called me asking If I can work the monday 5 am shift. Well I guess they liked my just show up at work when your "fired" inative. Well of course I said no.
I got to get to the "city" today If anyone reading this from Jersey wants to come with me. Im cool with that. This is long over due:
When Newark and Paterson are better then the "city":
See when I say the city I mean the hustle and bustle of Manhatten or as I like to call it New Berlin. You see there Mayor keeps taking away there rights its like the second comming of there gestapo before I get alot of hate posts hear me out.
In Paterson and Newark: A pack of cigerettes is less then 5 dollars. New York it is ten bucks.
In Paterson and Newark: You can smoke in clubs and bars.
In Paterson and Newark: You can ride a bike on the sidewalk as this is the best way to avoid getting hit by a car.
In Paterson and Newark: We have urban enterprise zones which drasticlly decreses the sales tax. Unlike NYC whose sales tax went up as result of 9/11.
In Paterson and Newark: You can talk on a cell phone in your car and make right turns on red.
In Paterson and Newark: There are no hippies...and if there was he probably could kick your ass.
In Paterson and Newark: No yuppies, I garuntee this will never happen to our fair cities. NEVER!
In Paterson and Newark: You will never see the newest trend for instance those fucking sidewalk scooters. If you were to see a guy on one of them I garuntee there would be a cop car with its lights on in hot pursuit.
In Paterson and Newark: When Hollywood makes movies that concern the cities you allways have atleast one person getting murdered. In New York youll get like 150 sappy love movies. Not so for us across the river. Take New Jersey Drive the story of a youth trying to survive in Newarks grand theft auto scene (auto theft capital of the world). Or Lean on me which deals with a Princal trying to turn around a tough inner city school in Paterson (East side high). OR the hurricane where a Paterson boxer is wrongfully acused of murder. Youll never find a sappy love movie or chick flick that is souposedly comming out of the Jersey cities and if it there was it would probably deal with prison rape.
Most imporantly why Jersey Cities are better then the "City":
In Paterson and Newark: IF mike selleck ever made appearance in one he would get the bejesus kicked out of him.
Selleck: NOT IN THE FACE! HELP ME HELLLLLLLPPP ME!!!
Think what you will with that.
In other news Danny looks like Balkey from perfect strangers.
"If you really are sick stay in bed,rest, sleep. If you just did to much this weekend... Then wake up CLEAN THE ROOM (Brett- there is an odor I can detect in my room) and mow the lawn."
I like how after "this weekend" theres three dots. Its like the 3 dots of mystery what can she be implying...HMMM I wonder. So I disappered for three days and come home smelling of booze. Whys that a reason to suspect somthing. Its not like im out there distributing John Does are anything. Godamn the stench of a legend OhhhhhwwwWeeee.
Anyways job number 1 called me asking If I can work the monday 5 am shift. Well I guess they liked my just show up at work when your "fired" inative. Well of course I said no.
I got to get to the "city" today If anyone reading this from Jersey wants to come with me. Im cool with that. This is long over due:
When Newark and Paterson are better then the "city":
See when I say the city I mean the hustle and bustle of Manhatten or as I like to call it New Berlin. You see there Mayor keeps taking away there rights its like the second comming of there gestapo before I get alot of hate posts hear me out.
In Paterson and Newark: A pack of cigerettes is less then 5 dollars. New York it is ten bucks.
In Paterson and Newark: You can smoke in clubs and bars.
In Paterson and Newark: You can ride a bike on the sidewalk as this is the best way to avoid getting hit by a car.
In Paterson and Newark: We have urban enterprise zones which drasticlly decreses the sales tax. Unlike NYC whose sales tax went up as result of 9/11.
In Paterson and Newark: You can talk on a cell phone in your car and make right turns on red.
In Paterson and Newark: There are no hippies...and if there was he probably could kick your ass.
In Paterson and Newark: No yuppies, I garuntee this will never happen to our fair cities. NEVER!
In Paterson and Newark: You will never see the newest trend for instance those fucking sidewalk scooters. If you were to see a guy on one of them I garuntee there would be a cop car with its lights on in hot pursuit.
In Paterson and Newark: When Hollywood makes movies that concern the cities you allways have atleast one person getting murdered. In New York youll get like 150 sappy love movies. Not so for us across the river. Take New Jersey Drive the story of a youth trying to survive in Newarks grand theft auto scene (auto theft capital of the world). Or Lean on me which deals with a Princal trying to turn around a tough inner city school in Paterson (East side high). OR the hurricane where a Paterson boxer is wrongfully acused of murder. Youll never find a sappy love movie or chick flick that is souposedly comming out of the Jersey cities and if it there was it would probably deal with prison rape.
Most imporantly why Jersey Cities are better then the "City":
In Paterson and Newark: IF mike selleck ever made appearance in one he would get the bejesus kicked out of him.
Selleck: NOT IN THE FACE! HELP ME HELLLLLLLPPP ME!!!
Think what you will with that.
In other news Danny looks like Balkey from perfect strangers.