Joe Porter and the Naughty Fireman
Recap: Sunday Two man advantage show at cbgbs.
First band/Act: New York Ska exchange.
I say with the exception of the Pilfers that ska sucks. Yep there i said it and im not taking it back. Not that i have anything wrong with these guys...It just that i hate ska. These guys were the steriotypical "Happy go lucky" ska band. They had it all the zany guy who dresses wierd. Playing a heavy metal riff to trick the listners and then start playing a upbeat ska song, REALLY GOT ME THERE GUYS!!! Never saw that one comming ho Ho good one fellows. Even the play another popular groups song and sing it with an obnouxious voice. Hilirity...Yeah these guys had it all. Ska sucks, its like watching an episode of saved by the bell. Picture if you Mr belding in the back of the back of the MAXX listing to any ska band it doesnt matter which one...But lets say the miasmics. All of a sudden the Miasmics start playing the heavy riff:
Mr Belding: Oh no there playing some hard rock!!!
(Riff turns into happy ska riff)
Mr Belding: Those jokers!! AHAHAhA Good one guys jokes on me!
Lead singer: ZANY!!! (pulls out mentose!)
Mr Belding: Ohhhh you kids.
Band two: I didnt catch there name but i know it had the word feces in it.
At this point in the show i paid 5 dollars for one bottle of beer. Five dollars for a beer and it have better been the best beer ever. Sadly it wasnt. The next band was chillen they started out by throwing out tons of toliet paper in the crowd. Jimmy then inspired me, inspired me to get close to someone as possible without making it obvious and throwing the toliet paper roll full force into their face. Pretty soon the whole place was one big toliet paper roll fight... greatness ensued. A little bit later in the set some do0d got on stage pissed in a empty mug and then chugged it. Man what a fucking show so far and Two man hasnt even taken the stage.
Act 3: Lucky devils sideshow circus.
These guys were good with one exception (ill get into that in a little bit.) They did the standard sideshow routine (ie:blockhead,raccontrap,sword swallowing,insectivor) and they did some cool magic trick but there was a sinister side to this show
ENTER NAUGHTY FIREMAN
Its offical this guy is the all time worst. I should have known that anyone who has the word Naughty in his stage name that the this is gonna be one of the worst experiences of my life. His gimmiac was that in between the sideshow acts he would get up in full fireman gear and make something out of a ballon.
He makes a penis ballon...didnt see that one comming...
Then he makes a pussy ballon.....
What ballon would this Man make with Manos de artista he worked on his craft Uh! What could it be... It apears to be....a penis BUT WAIT! It has a belt around it Oh I get it! Its a strap on penis.
Then he would go on to make a penis hat and a pussy hat which happened to resemble a figure 8...Then his final act was a pacifier. I fail to see the conection either wait ill think ill ask Alex (inside joke-no one reads this so every joke is on the inside).
He sucks so bad i think the only one who enjoyed it was Selleck.
Selleck: Yooooooooo HOOOOOOO big boy Theres a fire in my pants put it out!!! Put it out!
Yep selleck was there to. We didnt get to talk but i heard Jimmy did ask him for money.
TWO MAN!!!
They finally hit the stage minus the cheerleaders this time but still rocked the place. It was your typical Two man show a rowdy pit beer bieng thrown about the place and lots of drunks. Making this the best part of the night.Ahhh life is good.
Summing up with pluses and minuses
Pluses
+ During the two man excitement some douche bag was doing flips in the pit and kicking people in the face. He started doing a flip and his feet were flying at me but i just moved out in time, in doing this he missed me but hit selleck.YES! SCORE ONE UP FOR THE B TEAM BABY BABY!
+ Do0d drank his own piss allways a plus in my book.
+ Toliet paper fights.
+ Learned that tom gets spice and the playboy channel for free!
+ Went to toms afterwards with joe watched some tv and Tom got me some food at the diner.
Minuses
- Broke after the night had to borrow money.
- Spent 5 dollars on one beer.
- Missed Oz and the first part of America undercover.
- The Naughty Fireman
All and all great fucking night with some great people
First band/Act: New York Ska exchange.
I say with the exception of the Pilfers that ska sucks. Yep there i said it and im not taking it back. Not that i have anything wrong with these guys...It just that i hate ska. These guys were the steriotypical "Happy go lucky" ska band. They had it all the zany guy who dresses wierd. Playing a heavy metal riff to trick the listners and then start playing a upbeat ska song, REALLY GOT ME THERE GUYS!!! Never saw that one comming ho Ho good one fellows. Even the play another popular groups song and sing it with an obnouxious voice. Hilirity...Yeah these guys had it all. Ska sucks, its like watching an episode of saved by the bell. Picture if you Mr belding in the back of the back of the MAXX listing to any ska band it doesnt matter which one...But lets say the miasmics. All of a sudden the Miasmics start playing the heavy riff:
Mr Belding: Oh no there playing some hard rock!!!
(Riff turns into happy ska riff)
Mr Belding: Those jokers!! AHAHAhA Good one guys jokes on me!
Lead singer: ZANY!!! (pulls out mentose!)
Mr Belding: Ohhhh you kids.
Band two: I didnt catch there name but i know it had the word feces in it.
At this point in the show i paid 5 dollars for one bottle of beer. Five dollars for a beer and it have better been the best beer ever. Sadly it wasnt. The next band was chillen they started out by throwing out tons of toliet paper in the crowd. Jimmy then inspired me, inspired me to get close to someone as possible without making it obvious and throwing the toliet paper roll full force into their face. Pretty soon the whole place was one big toliet paper roll fight... greatness ensued. A little bit later in the set some do0d got on stage pissed in a empty mug and then chugged it. Man what a fucking show so far and Two man hasnt even taken the stage.
Act 3: Lucky devils sideshow circus.
These guys were good with one exception (ill get into that in a little bit.) They did the standard sideshow routine (ie:blockhead,raccontrap,sword swallowing,insectivor) and they did some cool magic trick but there was a sinister side to this show
ENTER NAUGHTY FIREMAN
Its offical this guy is the all time worst. I should have known that anyone who has the word Naughty in his stage name that the this is gonna be one of the worst experiences of my life. His gimmiac was that in between the sideshow acts he would get up in full fireman gear and make something out of a ballon.
He makes a penis ballon...didnt see that one comming...
Then he makes a pussy ballon.....
What ballon would this Man make with Manos de artista he worked on his craft Uh! What could it be... It apears to be....a penis BUT WAIT! It has a belt around it Oh I get it! Its a strap on penis.
Then he would go on to make a penis hat and a pussy hat which happened to resemble a figure 8...Then his final act was a pacifier. I fail to see the conection either wait ill think ill ask Alex (inside joke-no one reads this so every joke is on the inside).
He sucks so bad i think the only one who enjoyed it was Selleck.
Selleck: Yooooooooo HOOOOOOO big boy Theres a fire in my pants put it out!!! Put it out!
Yep selleck was there to. We didnt get to talk but i heard Jimmy did ask him for money.
TWO MAN!!!
They finally hit the stage minus the cheerleaders this time but still rocked the place. It was your typical Two man show a rowdy pit beer bieng thrown about the place and lots of drunks. Making this the best part of the night.Ahhh life is good.
Summing up with pluses and minuses
Pluses
+ During the two man excitement some douche bag was doing flips in the pit and kicking people in the face. He started doing a flip and his feet were flying at me but i just moved out in time, in doing this he missed me but hit selleck.YES! SCORE ONE UP FOR THE B TEAM BABY BABY!
+ Do0d drank his own piss allways a plus in my book.
+ Toliet paper fights.
+ Learned that tom gets spice and the playboy channel for free!
+ Went to toms afterwards with joe watched some tv and Tom got me some food at the diner.
Minuses
- Broke after the night had to borrow money.
- Spent 5 dollars on one beer.
- Missed Oz and the first part of America undercover.
- The Naughty Fireman
All and all great fucking night with some great people