(no subject)

[jerkmeoff]

i feel sick to my stomach thinking about
what happened between us.
i know what you're about now
and as much as i want you to feel as badly as i do right now
i wouldnt know how to do so
because you could careless if
you had me in your life
and as of now
you dont.
i dont want anything to do with you
you're so dissapointing.
i keep hoping who i thought you once were
is still there.
but its gone
and with its passage
goes whatever relation we had.
i realize that all this time i was just
a pathetic little kid
tugging at your shirt
begging for your attention
and all you were only
listening with one ear.
at one point
i thought i was good enough
but its obvious i never was.
this could have all been prevented
if at one of the many opportunities i gave you
you told me that it was never
going to happen.
now i just feel lonely, desperate, vulnerable, and terrible about myself.
everytime you told me i meant something to you
i thought i really did.
and if i still do
you are by far the worst person at showing it.
im not trying anymore.