[IC] Dean and the Season Finale!
I'm not gonna cover as much depth as Sammy did (because I'm not the nerdy brother!! and partially because half the things I would end up covering would be several facets of codependency and several degrees of how-fucked-up-is-dean and I'll save that for another day), but I will refer to bits in the previous seasons (and mostly talk about season four and five which lead up to the finale) and finally, a sort of what kinda state Dean's going to be now (hint: not good).
The Recap of Dean
When we first see Dean, he doesn't exactly give anyone a good impression. He breaks into his brother's room, he's skeevy to his brother's girlfriend, he acts self-righteous and arrogant and you probably wanted to punch him. That's what Season One tries to promote! This is Dean, the older, fun-loving brother, the hunter, the one living the opposite life to his brother. In fact, I would say that Season One is mostly a way for us to get into the hunter lifestyle as much as we learn about it is more from Sam's eyes than Dean's. But the hints begin to drop (I think they really start at "Skin" when Dean's skinwalker tells Sam how much Dean resented the life Sam got to have) that Dean is not all that he seems to be. The veneer starts to peel off and finally we get the first real look at Dean (close to the season one finale), someone who's just trying to live up to his father and keep his family together (apparently he's been doing that even before they started hunting, often comforting his mother when she had fights with John Winchester). Dean doesn't believe in connections outside of his family because in his worldview, nobody in the world gets him and no one ever will (refer to his short-term girlfriend in High School Reunion and of course, Cassie), so the only way for him to escape loneliness was to keep his family together with him. And there is nothing he wouldn't do just to make that last.
Of course, because this is the Winchester life, it doesn't. His father sells his soul to save Dean and extracts a painful promise from him, that someday Dean had to kill Sam. (Honestly, I don't know how John Winchester thought Dean could ever do it, but that's off-topic). Dean starts looking as his life in a defeatist outlook. He confesses to how tired he is, how much he's starting to hate everything he's ever believed in, how finally he starts to both love and hate his father for putting this burden on his shoulders. This may all sound familiar because just two weeks ago, I was bringing out that behaviour in him in my threads. But this was minor: He still had a mission and as far as he was concerned, Sam was okay (The first real doubt really came into his head when Sam killed Jake) and when Sam died and he sold his soul, he was all set to giving up and dying. I won't talk much on Season Three since his development there is mostly him struggling to accept it and yet trying to find ways to save himself. All of this turned fruitless when the hellhounds got him.
Season Four
(FORTY YEARRRS okay I'm done)
Dean got out of hell, but not after spending forty years in Hell, thirty of them being tortured by Alastair and ten learning how to torture people in return thanks to ... Alastair once more. But finally, the angels broke him out and Dean was alive! But he was alive with those forty years weighing on his shoulders. He couldn't deal with the fact that he tortured people because the core of Dean isn't so much the "hunting" than it is the "saving people". It is a very integral part of Dean and he just couldn't let go of that fact! Then came in the "you are the chosen one" angle. Dean's never been chosen for anything in his life so he spent a lot of time disbelieving and wanting to believe. The problem was he got so caught up in it, he missed what was happening to Sam until Dean forced Sam to make a choice: Ruby or him. And when Sam started to hide things from him and finally picked Ruby, Dean didn't know what to do. He spent the beginning of that episode moping because he felt he lost his brother and that was it! End of the line. But after Zachariah spilled his plans, Dean realized that it wasn't him to let Sam be, even if Sam didn't fall under what was right or wrong ("I'll take Sam as is"). Dean is hard on Sam, ridiculously hard, often wanting Sam to conform to his standards, his ideas and when Sam doesn't, Dean feels like they won't ever understand each other (hence why the Siren was able to get to him so easily). MOSTLY SEASON FOUR IS DEAN REALIZING THAT HE'S A DICK and Sam is Sam, even if they go about doing things differently.
And he was right about Ruby.
In a nutshell, season four is this.
me: man I'm trying to talk about season four dean
but it's mostly like
HE WAS DEPRESSED
... AND HE GOT BETTER
sian: ... well
that'll do :x
me: XD
sian: IT'S TRUE
HE WAS SAD AND ANGRY!! HE CONTINUED SAD AND ANGRY!! he got sad and angrier. then he was sad and alone. then he and sam decided to stop being assholes to each other.
Let's move onto Season Five!
Season Five
I wrote some stuff on Season Four+Five here, so this is just a shorter rundown with more added notes on Dean's development towards the end.
Now, we finally get to the nitty-gritty. The Apocalypse is nigh, they don't have a lot of options on the table, Sam's been quoted to be Lucifer's vessel while Dean is Michael's. But that's not the main issue. The main issue that troubles Dean from the beginning of Season Five is Sam's choices. True, he'll take Sam in any way and he's glad Sam is back on their side, but now the doubt that started in season two and bloomed during Season Four. Suddenly, Dean's trying to put space between them, but it doesn't work because Dean is completely and utterly dependent on Sam. Even in "The End", Dean cannot comprehend a life without Sam, not contacting Sam at all. It's impossible for him because even beyond the job, his life really starts with Sam, no matter how much Dean tries to want a life where his mom lives, or things were perfect, nothing works unless Sam is there and his little brother to take care of. So while Dean claims he's gonna give Sam the respect he needs, he... doesn't! He tries, but he just quite make the cut.
And Sam can't be treated like that anymore. And most of Season Five is Dean trying to struggle with that fact, trying to accept that Sam can make his own decisions, the right ones without Dean hovering around his person to take care. And Dean is a tough guy to please. Even when Sam was in the bunker, Dean just left him there and it gnawed at him and thought he felt it was right, he knew that it wasn't working. He wasn't able to believe in Sam. And little by little, he felt that eventually, Sam was going to leave in his continuous cycle of just being left alone and Dean did something he would never normally do, ever. He left first. He tries to find Michael and say yes (it's worth noting that saying yes would spare Sam from Lucifer and ultimately, even if half the world was torched, Sam and a handful of people Dean cared for would survive). But Sam had faith in Dean. That's what changed him because if Sam has faith in Dean, who has the self-esteem of a hole. It was the final knock on his head. That Sam really was grown-up enough to make his own decisions, even if Dean himself felt they were the worst. He accepted it at last.
And Sam dies.
Post-finale + State of the Union
Dean: When you were little, couldn't have been more than five, you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom? Why did we always have to move around? Where's Dad? I remember I begged you: "Quit asking, Sammy. You don't want to know." I just wanted you to be a kid, just for a little while longer. Always tried to protect you. Keep you safe. Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job. I had one job, and I screwed it up. I blew it, and for that, I'm sorry. I guess that’s what I do. I let down the people I love. You know, I let Dad down, and now I guess I’m just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy? What am I supposed to do?
- If Sam hadn't made Dean promise to go to Lisa, Dean would have stood at that spot for eternity. A life without Sam is Dean's worst nightmare. Even when a djinn gave him his mom back alive, Dean picked a life where Sam was with him rather than a distant Sam.
- PERSONALLY I just. Can't imagine Dean staying with Lisa for very long. He'll try! He wants to, I know. But Dean can't settle into a normal life, Sam or no Sam. Dean's painfully aware of how completely different he is from the norm and the longer he stays with Lisa, the more... aggregated that feeling is going to get (hence SEASON SIX I GUESS?)
- Camp-wise, Dean has sort of completely shut-off. He's angry and if someone triggered that, he'll go postal. He's lost and he doesn't know what to say or do. He keeps swinging between trying to find a way of bringing Sam back and just. Keeping his promise. Mostly, now he knows he's alone. Finally. And with more finality that he has ever feared before. All he can think of is all the things he could have said or done and then constantly trying to pull himself back into the finality of it all.
- He still feels bad for Adam.
- When he sees Sam again, Dean will never want to leave Camp ever. If Camp is where Sam can stay, then Dean'll stay as long as he can and not a minute longer. He'll be too relieved to really care what Sam is anymore too :x
- And since I should put a note for Cas too. Dean really, really doesn't want him to leave. He's gotten used to Cas being around! Even during the worst of it and the worst of him. So Cas leaving is an added sting :(
- REALLY there isn't much to say on Dean's emotional WRECKAGE. So I will pull another quote from canon.
Chuck: Dean didn't want Cas to save him. Every part of him, every fiber he's got wants to die or find a way to bring Sam back.
Thoughts, queries, do you want a thread with shattered!dean sometime....
The Recap of Dean
When we first see Dean, he doesn't exactly give anyone a good impression. He breaks into his brother's room, he's skeevy to his brother's girlfriend, he acts self-righteous and arrogant and you probably wanted to punch him. That's what Season One tries to promote! This is Dean, the older, fun-loving brother, the hunter, the one living the opposite life to his brother. In fact, I would say that Season One is mostly a way for us to get into the hunter lifestyle as much as we learn about it is more from Sam's eyes than Dean's. But the hints begin to drop (I think they really start at "Skin" when Dean's skinwalker tells Sam how much Dean resented the life Sam got to have) that Dean is not all that he seems to be. The veneer starts to peel off and finally we get the first real look at Dean (close to the season one finale), someone who's just trying to live up to his father and keep his family together (apparently he's been doing that even before they started hunting, often comforting his mother when she had fights with John Winchester). Dean doesn't believe in connections outside of his family because in his worldview, nobody in the world gets him and no one ever will (refer to his short-term girlfriend in High School Reunion and of course, Cassie), so the only way for him to escape loneliness was to keep his family together with him. And there is nothing he wouldn't do just to make that last.
Of course, because this is the Winchester life, it doesn't. His father sells his soul to save Dean and extracts a painful promise from him, that someday Dean had to kill Sam. (Honestly, I don't know how John Winchester thought Dean could ever do it, but that's off-topic). Dean starts looking as his life in a defeatist outlook. He confesses to how tired he is, how much he's starting to hate everything he's ever believed in, how finally he starts to both love and hate his father for putting this burden on his shoulders. This may all sound familiar because just two weeks ago, I was bringing out that behaviour in him in my threads. But this was minor: He still had a mission and as far as he was concerned, Sam was okay (The first real doubt really came into his head when Sam killed Jake) and when Sam died and he sold his soul, he was all set to giving up and dying. I won't talk much on Season Three since his development there is mostly him struggling to accept it and yet trying to find ways to save himself. All of this turned fruitless when the hellhounds got him.
Season Four
(FORTY YEARRRS okay I'm done)
Dean got out of hell, but not after spending forty years in Hell, thirty of them being tortured by Alastair and ten learning how to torture people in return thanks to ... Alastair once more. But finally, the angels broke him out and Dean was alive! But he was alive with those forty years weighing on his shoulders. He couldn't deal with the fact that he tortured people because the core of Dean isn't so much the "hunting" than it is the "saving people". It is a very integral part of Dean and he just couldn't let go of that fact! Then came in the "you are the chosen one" angle. Dean's never been chosen for anything in his life so he spent a lot of time disbelieving and wanting to believe. The problem was he got so caught up in it, he missed what was happening to Sam until Dean forced Sam to make a choice: Ruby or him. And when Sam started to hide things from him and finally picked Ruby, Dean didn't know what to do. He spent the beginning of that episode moping because he felt he lost his brother and that was it! End of the line. But after Zachariah spilled his plans, Dean realized that it wasn't him to let Sam be, even if Sam didn't fall under what was right or wrong ("I'll take Sam as is"). Dean is hard on Sam, ridiculously hard, often wanting Sam to conform to his standards, his ideas and when Sam doesn't, Dean feels like they won't ever understand each other (hence why the Siren was able to get to him so easily). MOSTLY SEASON FOUR IS DEAN REALIZING THAT HE'S A DICK and Sam is Sam, even if they go about doing things differently.
And he was right about Ruby.
In a nutshell, season four is this.
me: man I'm trying to talk about season four dean
but it's mostly like
HE WAS DEPRESSED
... AND HE GOT BETTER
sian: ... well
that'll do :x
me: XD
sian: IT'S TRUE
HE WAS SAD AND ANGRY!! HE CONTINUED SAD AND ANGRY!! he got sad and angrier. then he was sad and alone. then he and sam decided to stop being assholes to each other.
Let's move onto Season Five!
Season Five
I wrote some stuff on Season Four+Five here, so this is just a shorter rundown with more added notes on Dean's development towards the end.
Now, we finally get to the nitty-gritty. The Apocalypse is nigh, they don't have a lot of options on the table, Sam's been quoted to be Lucifer's vessel while Dean is Michael's. But that's not the main issue. The main issue that troubles Dean from the beginning of Season Five is Sam's choices. True, he'll take Sam in any way and he's glad Sam is back on their side, but now the doubt that started in season two and bloomed during Season Four. Suddenly, Dean's trying to put space between them, but it doesn't work because Dean is completely and utterly dependent on Sam. Even in "The End", Dean cannot comprehend a life without Sam, not contacting Sam at all. It's impossible for him because even beyond the job, his life really starts with Sam, no matter how much Dean tries to want a life where his mom lives, or things were perfect, nothing works unless Sam is there and his little brother to take care of. So while Dean claims he's gonna give Sam the respect he needs, he... doesn't! He tries, but he just quite make the cut.
And Sam can't be treated like that anymore. And most of Season Five is Dean trying to struggle with that fact, trying to accept that Sam can make his own decisions, the right ones without Dean hovering around his person to take care. And Dean is a tough guy to please. Even when Sam was in the bunker, Dean just left him there and it gnawed at him and thought he felt it was right, he knew that it wasn't working. He wasn't able to believe in Sam. And little by little, he felt that eventually, Sam was going to leave in his continuous cycle of just being left alone and Dean did something he would never normally do, ever. He left first. He tries to find Michael and say yes (it's worth noting that saying yes would spare Sam from Lucifer and ultimately, even if half the world was torched, Sam and a handful of people Dean cared for would survive). But Sam had faith in Dean. That's what changed him because if Sam has faith in Dean, who has the self-esteem of a hole. It was the final knock on his head. That Sam really was grown-up enough to make his own decisions, even if Dean himself felt they were the worst. He accepted it at last.
And Sam dies.
Post-finale + State of the Union
Dean: When you were little, couldn't have been more than five, you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom? Why did we always have to move around? Where's Dad? I remember I begged you: "Quit asking, Sammy. You don't want to know." I just wanted you to be a kid, just for a little while longer. Always tried to protect you. Keep you safe. Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job. I had one job, and I screwed it up. I blew it, and for that, I'm sorry. I guess that’s what I do. I let down the people I love. You know, I let Dad down, and now I guess I’m just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy? What am I supposed to do?
- If Sam hadn't made Dean promise to go to Lisa, Dean would have stood at that spot for eternity. A life without Sam is Dean's worst nightmare. Even when a djinn gave him his mom back alive, Dean picked a life where Sam was with him rather than a distant Sam.
- PERSONALLY I just. Can't imagine Dean staying with Lisa for very long. He'll try! He wants to, I know. But Dean can't settle into a normal life, Sam or no Sam. Dean's painfully aware of how completely different he is from the norm and the longer he stays with Lisa, the more... aggregated that feeling is going to get (hence SEASON SIX I GUESS?)
- Camp-wise, Dean has sort of completely shut-off. He's angry and if someone triggered that, he'll go postal. He's lost and he doesn't know what to say or do. He keeps swinging between trying to find a way of bringing Sam back and just. Keeping his promise. Mostly, now he knows he's alone. Finally. And with more finality that he has ever feared before. All he can think of is all the things he could have said or done and then constantly trying to pull himself back into the finality of it all.
- He still feels bad for Adam.
- When he sees Sam again, Dean will never want to leave Camp ever. If Camp is where Sam can stay, then Dean'll stay as long as he can and not a minute longer. He'll be too relieved to really care what Sam is anymore too :x
- And since I should put a note for Cas too. Dean really, really doesn't want him to leave. He's gotten used to Cas being around! Even during the worst of it and the worst of him. So Cas leaving is an added sting :(
- REALLY there isn't much to say on Dean's emotional WRECKAGE. So I will pull another quote from canon.
Chuck: Dean didn't want Cas to save him. Every part of him, every fiber he's got wants to die or find a way to bring Sam back.
Thoughts, queries, do you want a thread with shattered!dean sometime....